100 Way Wednesdays...

I started 100 way Wednesdays a few weeks ago on how my life has changed going from obese to healthy. This week I've desided to change it up some and blog about a "to do" list now that my weight is not stopping me anymore. 100 ways Wednesday was started by SignGurl. (http://www.signgurl.blogspot.com/) She asked others to join along. So I did...




This week for 100 Way Wednesday’s I am blogging 10 things I want to do in my future that I have not been able to do because of being so heavy for my whole life. I learned to live and do what I could do while living in an obese body. Sometimes it would make me sad and I tried really hard not to think about my limits for many years. There are so many times I sat aside and didn’t want to. Rather it be from not being able to, embarrassment, being afraid or whatever my weight has stopped me from living life sometimes. I still find I have to push myself even after losing the weight. My head still tells me I can’t because I have told myself that for years. I catch myself avoiding getting on the floor, running, walking cause I’m still afraid I guess. Time to learn and try new things to prove to myself I CAN. I am trying really hard to learn to step out of my box and be a better me for my future.

1. I want to ride a horse someday. I’ve never felt like I could get up on a horse and now I feel I could get up and swing my leg around to get up on a horse.
2. Dance! I’ve never danced. Afraid I’d be noticed. I don’t care if it’s a slow dance or a fast dance; I just want to dance now.
3. Run! I still have this I CAN’T run in my stupid head. I was talking to Barb (http://barbswls.blogspot.com/) about it while I was visiting her. My hubby and son run across the parking lot back to the car each time we leave Wal Mart or the store. I know my hip/ankle problems stop me but the fact is I can. Maybe not a marathon but I could run. Even my son tells me “mom you’ve lost 130 pounds you can run now”.
4. Hike. I remember we did this one short hike to a waterfall we took about 2 years ago. It was a pretty easy hike with a few hills but overall a pretty easy 3 mile hike. That hike 2 years ago kicked my ass. I was sad, crying, and so hurt inside because it hurt so bad to walk on this uneven terrain that I didn’t even kind of enjoy the view or beauty of Oregon. I want to go back to that waterfall and enjoy it with my family again. There are many places to hike here in Oregon and I want to move rather than just see the beauty from my car.
5. Hot Air Balloon. Didn’t really want to share my weight with a stranger so they could judge me. When you go up in a hot air balloon you have to share your weight so they can even the basket out and have the correct weight when going up, up and away. There was time's in my life I didn't know my weight.
6. Disneyland/Traveling. We went in year 2000. But do you know for the last few years in the back of my head I was dreading the talk of another Disneyland vacation. I did not know how I would ever have the strength to walk all those miles. Not only the strength but pain I would have to endure. You can eat Tylenol but the next morning you hurt so bad and you are suffering the 2nd day is even more painful. I knew I would hurt and suffer and was scared I could never stand the heat, miles, or pain. And when you are in a magical place like that you should be having fun with your family not beating yourself up the whole way. I want to plan a vacation around what we all want to do, not around what mom can't do!
7. Wear and dress and feel good about it. Big one. Susy does not wear dresses! Not because I didn’t want to, because I didn’t look good or feel good about myself. The few times I did put on a dress it was because I had too and I hated it the whole time. I tried a few dresses on this past week and am still in search of finding a dress that makes me feel sexy for the FIRST time in my life.
8. Get re married to my wonderful hubby. He loves me now and loved me then. He just wanted me to be happy and not sad anymore and enjoy life. I want to put that new dress on and feel good, sexy and get re married to Derrel! The week we got married in Vegas was one of the best times in my life. We really had a good time with lots of smiles, laughs, and love. But I do remember not being happy with myself. For our wedding I got down to 245 pounds. Ug
9. Buy a bike. I blogged about this when I first started this blog back in 2006. Derrel and Jonathan just had bought new bike and went on a ride without me. My butt would not fit comfortable on a bike seat and I felt too big and uneasy on a bike. So I am buying myself a bike and riding along!
10. Water Ski. Never could get up out of water and up on feet on water ski’s when I was a young girl. I have not tried to water ski since I was 10 or so. I weigh less now so I might just have a chance to learn to water ski now.

This list is small to some but BIG to me. My list seems to be pretty normal things we have all done in our life. Being obese for my entire life these are just some of the things that I have let my weight take from me. No more!

No Regrets!

I've been tagged...

The Game Meme Rules:

The rules of The Game get posted on the beginning. Each player answers the questions about himself [or indeed herself]. At the end of the post, the player tags five people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they’ve been tagged and asking them to read his [or her] blog.

What was I doing ten years ago?
Ten years ago I was going back to college and taking all kinds of computer/word processing classes. Raising a son, volunteering at the elementary school and trying to lose weight. I had just gone through a divorce and was raising a son alone. Hard times and good times when I look back now. It made me stronger and even though I was sad it was a growing time in my life. Learning to live by myself and learning to like myself along the way.


Five things on my To-Do list today:
*Water aerobics class
*Physical therapy.
*I'm dropping my wedding ring off at the jeweler as it is so loose now I need to get it re sized smaller. This week was the first time I stood up and my ring went flying across the grass. Luckily I found it. Not taking anymore chances.
* I got some cool new clothes this week. Barb bought me this very nice grown up outfit. The pants are a bit to long and I promised I would go get them hemmed. So I'm doing that too.
*Paying bills, cleaning the house. mopping, dishes, laundry, dinner...

Bad habits:
*I do cuss and have a bit of a potty mouth sometimes.
*Coffee... i love coffee
*I can't give all my secrets away... LOL

Five places I’ve lived:
*Salem Oregon
*Boise Idaho
*Springfield Missouri
*Salem Oregon (moved home after my divorce)
*Yachats, Oregon

Three jobs I’ve had:
A to Z marketing (telemarketing)
Culligan Water
Movie Gallery

Five of my favorite movies
*Legend with Tom Cruise
*City of Angels
*Leaving Las Vegas
*Pulp Fiction
*Martian Child

Who do I tag.....
*Amber (both of you)
*Sign Gurl
*Barb
*Diva Taunia ...let me learn more about you















This is me 10 years ago!

MGB Family...

Well I am home from Pasadena CA. I had a great time on my short trip. My cheeks hurt from laughing so hard. The visit to the LA area was because my mom had to re visit the surgeon that did an emergency shoulder replacement on her this past November after a fall. The Dr said she was healing good and to keep moving that arm through her exercises. She is going to be limited forever from this injury and he kindly told her to "live her life and adjust rather than have another surgery" because the injury was that bad from her fall. We won't know where she is totally until about a year out concerning how much movement returns.

We had a good day there to visit between Dr's and such that Barb and I got to go SHOPPING (http://barbswls.blogspot.com/). $I did do a little damage$. It was fun having someone that has style to help me pick out new clothes and tell me what works or what does not work for me. I knew if I went with Barb she would tell me the truth on what looked good. We went to the first store and Barb was honest and said "Susy your bra you have on does not fit you anymore" I needed a bra that fit the ladies. Needless to say I got a new bra too. I tried on lots and lots of things. I had to tell myself that just because it fit's does not mean I have to buy it or I'd buy everything. I bought size 6 jeans, small tops and a size 34C bra. WowZa I tried really hard to step out of my box and try and buy different things as my body has changed and I know longer know what works for me. I got some really cool/cute clothes. I am home and stylin!

I woke up this morning and weighed myself as I still write it down each Saturday and the top of each month. Check this out: My scale this morning said 153.4. I think I'm going to cry. I can't believe it and I am thrilled. That's 138 pounds since surgery! And we won't even count that I weighed 340+ once in my life too. That number is crazy.

We took that picture of my brother Scott, Barb and myself yesterday. Together we have lost just about 400 pounds. CHECK US OUT! good times

I'm off to LA for a short visit with my brother and sister in law. I'm going to my mom's house tomorrow evening and were leaving for Pasadena California on Thursday morning. Were visiting family while also visiting the surgeon that did her shoulder replacement 5 months ago. Leaving for home early Saturday morning.

Short but sweet visit i hope... I hear there is sunshine and shopping there, so I'm so there...

100 Ways Wednesdays...

100 ways my life has changed going from obese to healthy.

100 ways Wednesday was started by SignGurl. (http://www.signgurl.blogspot.com/) She asked others to join along. So I did...

Here we go... #41-50

41. I no longer have high cholesterol. And my blood pressure has been fine for more than a year.


42. I have now only purchased one purse in the last year as now I can buy other things rather than a purse that always fit no matter my size. (I was a purse ah lcoholic) Everything else now fits too. It’s fun shopping… *wish i was rich!*


43. Seeing a person who is slowly learning to be more confident.


44. I will make eye contact with people now. I find I am not avoiding contact the same anymore and smiling more.


45. I will offer to run in somewhere rather then Derrel just assuming him or Jonathan will run in if it’s just a quick stop…I now offer all the time. Sounds kind of weird coming out of my mouth. *Feels ok to move now. not such a daily struggle*


46. I’m flying to LA this week…Can’t wait to see how I fit on the plane and the seat belts fit???. It’s going to be a Ta Da moment I'm thinking!


47. I am working all the time to to live life rather than let it pass me by. I’m not miss energetic by no means, but I’m learning and loving enjoying things rather than letting it passing me by. *learning to enjoy life rather then dread it sometimes*


48. I have met Internet friends from blogging. I have met some really nice new friends here and I am thankful for the support, comments and kind words. I look forward to there next blog and what they have to share. *I'm addicted*

49. I can’t even put into words how much better I feel after losing 130+ pounds. WowZa

50. I am thankful I am doing physical therapy for my hip. Losing the weight gave me the strength to fight for my health and feel better everywhere.



I am struggling with finding valid reason for this list. I think next week I'll change it up some and finish it off with a different theme rather then bore everyone. I think this is truly AmAzIng what has happened to me in this past year with all the changes. I find myself thinking that thought during some part of my day if not several times during the day. Amazing, Truly AMAZING!

is it not spring time???

Well the farmers markets have started... the tulips are blooming, allergies have kicked in, grass has been cut but I must of been mistaken because it is not spring time here in Oregon the past few days.

Grrr NO NO NO MORE SNOW...













This is our barn and property and spring time here in Oregon.

Feelings...

This overwhelming feeling comes over me still sometimes. I still feel scared some days that I will wake up and be obese again. I think this is from years and years of failing and always gaining back what I had lost. So it's still in bedded in my mind. I can't go back but still so scared sometimes. There is so much in the life I have not been able to do. I want to be able to walk if I want to take a walk, run if I want to run. Smile and not be ashamed of myself. I want to live life, and I sometimes get scared this will be taken from me again. Just being honest and having one of those days today. So I'm looking towards my friends for a "kick in the ass" or something. I want to face these feelings "head on" rather than push them down and aside. I was up to 161.2 this morning and don't understand why. Eating healthy and eating the right things. It's not about the number, it's about being healthy.

Then why does that damn number mean so much???

100 Ways Wednesday

10 things each week.
10 weeks.
= 100 ways my life has changed going from obese to healthy.

100 ways Wednesday was started by SignGurl. (http://www.signgurl.blogspot.com/)
She asked others to join along. So I did...

Here is my next week list...

31. I do take vitamins now, EVERY DAY… something I’ve never done.

32. When I get into my husband’s high truck I can get in the truck without a step stool and without pulling my self up into the truck. I just step in. It’s so different and much easier. Every time I step up there without pain or a step stool I freak out. Things like this feel amazing to me!

33. People tell me I look happier and I do feel happier.

34. A girl at the store said “hi skinny” to ME. Made me feel good. ?Was she really talking to me?

35. I am now enjoying finding new healthy food choices for myself and family. Yucky foods make me feel yucky now.

36. Now rather than just pick it up- I now I cook it up.

37. Losing the weight has taken the sadness out of my life.

38. I am going to try Yoga or Pilates here really soon when my physical therapist is done working me out of a knot. I'm not so afraid to try new things anymore.

39. I want to park at the back of the parking lot at a store now. It’s just not so someone won’t ding my car anymore. I want to! I don’t drive the parking lot waiting for a close parking spot, we just park in the back.

40. I am getting back into shape. Physically and mentally! I'm learning to be nice to myself more each day. It's not perfect and is taking me time to learn to forgive myself and except today and let go of yesterday. But I don't want to ever forget how it was to be obese and learn from it for my future. And being obese for many years my muscles and body were out of shape and a froze hip. I’m doing physical therapy right now for a hip that has causes me lots of pain for many years. I had ate the pain long enough through pills and compensating with my limits that it has now caused my hip muscles to freeze from not using them anymore than I had too. My point is - losing this weight has given me the strength to put "all of me" back together. It's time for me sometimes too.

I'm thinking a couple of those are alike or I'm repeating myself but that's because it is that big of deal to me.

Feels good to be able to move and wanting to move is even better.

Day alone - what to do...?

Well I have today all to myself. Jonathan is off to school, Derrel is driving a bus at work and I'm stuck here all alone... Darn. Hate it when that happens...NOT

I love my family but a girl needs alone time some days. So I am thinking Wal mart and shopping. Or I can sit here all day and listen to my ears ring from nobody talking. Which would be nice too. My boy never shuts up. The minute his feet hit the floor his lips start moving. So when there is no one home it's so nice to hear absolutely nothing.

I'm thinking shopping! I really just want a new pair of jeans. I got a pair at the 2nd hand store last week but now I know why they were there. The zipper kept comming down on me, so they didn't really work out. Then again I'm going to LA next week with my mom. We are visiting the surgeon that worked on her shoulder this past November from her bad fall. So were going to see the surgeon for a check on that shoulder and to visit my brother Scott and his wife Barb (http://barbswls.blogspot.com/). Maybe I'll save my money and hope we find time to shop while there for 2 days. I am excited to see them. I hope we are aso going to take a new photo of all of us. Scott, Barb and myself have all had the MGB and it's time for a new picture of all of us all together. This picture below is the last one I have. Were going to send a new picture of us all to the surgeon that did our surgery. (http://clos.net/). I think it will be a fun retake for us. I'm the last one to lose this weight as they are both a year + ahead of me in this journey.

Years past...

I was going through a few photos on my laptop and I've found a few I thought I would share here in the next few weeks.

WowZA...

These pics are from 2000-2004. At this point I was not at my highest weight, but creeping back up to 300 pounds here. 340 (i think) was my highest weight in the late 80's and all of the 90's. I'll have to go digging for those pics someday. Those are really old ones and I had not gone digital yet so they will be harder to dig up and I'm not sure I want to dig them up.

So for me all this is a first. It feels great to be healthy.

No Regrets ever again in my life...

(my new saying)

March 2007 vs. March 2008

assume the position...

Oregon Gas Prices:
WoW
Regular: $3.59
Diesel: $4.19

Sweet Revenge...

Well I've forgot to blog this... For a few of you that have been reading my blog for a bit you might just find this interesting. I know I sure did. Remember my letter I wrote to district about my stealing boss back in February. Well sweet, sweet revenge this week... Movie Gallery where I worked just two weeks ago- has closed. They shut the doors. The question is did they just decide to pack it up and leave town after my letter about my boss stealing?? Or were they planning on closing anyway, maybe that's why my DM never responded to me about the letter I wrote back in February. We feel they were making there goals but not exceeding them financial. It costs a lot to replace a manager and if the store really wasn't making them $, I think they just folded it up. Between her stealing and finding a new manager and a store that broke even maybe my letter just game them a good reason to close it up.

Well never know the whole story...

but what I do know is that she can't clock in anymore and steal! LOL

What comes around, goes around...

100 Ways Wednesday...

I'm blogging on Wednesdays for 10 weeks on 100 ways my life has changed for me from going from obese to healthy.

SignGurl (http://www.signgurl.blogspot.com/) started this idea four weeks ago on her blog and asked others to join along. So I did...

Here is my list...

21. Not one thing I used to wear fits any longer. I’ve grown out of everything.

22. People will now sit next to me rather than avoid me or being next to me.

23. My family can put there arms all the way around me and give me a hug.

24. For me it's like the world is waiting at your feet now and at last you want to push all those old limitation back and just go for it. Braver to be who I wanted to be all along.

25. I can cross my legs and be comfortable.

26. I look at my reflection in a glass window and wonder “who that is”.

27. I’ve had several people come up to me and ask “Susy, is that you”, “your skinny?” There is a definite question in there voice if it's me or not. They only recognize my hair color which gives me away.

28. I feel I can look people in the eye now. I don’t have to wonder inside what there thinking of me.

29. I don’t need coffee anymore to start the day. I have an occasional coffee but that’s it now. It’s a treat, not in control of my mood in the morning anymore.

30. When I go to a sporting event of my son’s I don’t feel like I embarrass him anymore. And I don't feel embarrassed anymore either.

Oatmeal Protein Bars

Out of the 3 things I tried to create this weekend I found one that was yummy. Those protein bars are expensive so here is a good one to share with you all-

1 cup oatmeal
1 cup shredded wheat or bran flakes
1 cup almonds (nuts)
1 ½ cup dried fruit
½ tablespoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon salt
2 eggs
1/3 cup honey
1 teaspoon vanilla

Combine all dry ingredients, in food processor. Pulse until combined well. In large bowl combine egg, honey, and vanilla. Add dry mix and fold until coated. Put mix into greased 8x8 baking dish. Bake 18 min at 350. Allow to cool before cutting.


I used Raisin Bran which had the dried fruit in there already. I did not have any plain almonds today so I used a cup of the trail mix I get from Costco. (I think next time I'd go lighter on the trail mix blend or go just plain almonds/nuts.) The Costco trail mix blend had almonds, peanuts, raisins and M and M's in it. I also added a 1/2 cup of Smart Balance peanut butter this time. YUMMY

I tried to get creative this weekend, but had a hard time finding one that is actually tasty for the whole family. I want to cook things for all of us that is sugar free and has protein in it. I bought a bag of Splenda this week at Wal mart. Trying to find something snack able that is good for us, no or low sugar, fiber, yummy and has protein in it. I also made these 30 second cookies with chocolate whey protein powder and Splenda. Yuck. You can make them one at a time so I didn't lose much, but yucky. Any good recipes out there that actually taste good please share. :)

Goal Achieved...

157.8 goal achieved this morning...

1 year, 1 month, 12 days later.
-134 pounds

This was the magic number that takes me from obese to "normal" for the first time ever... HaPpY, hApPy, JoY, jOy...

16 hours alone...

Derrel and I were able to sneak away for 16 hours or so Thursday night. We were about 40 minutes from our house, but it was sure nice to get away. We had a nice time. Pretty much stayed in our room from 5pm to 9:30am this morning. As soon as we got there my hubby took off his pants and relaxed. I made him put back on his pants to take a couple of these pictures. :) LOL Our room had a Jacuzzi tub and we got in 3 baths, had Subway in our room for dinner, watched a little TV, drank some wine, it was a nice time.

This Close...

I am so so so close to my goal. I'm almost "NORMAL' for the first time in my life. First time I stepped on the scale this morning it said 158.0. I tried it 2 more times to and it said 158.4. So I'm not there until that scale reads 158.0 or less. But I'm excited anyway.

Holly shit I weigh 158. I'm in aw, can't believe it, happy, excited. For all the times in my life I failed with a diet, cheated, struggled, sweated, starved, believed, beat myself up, what ever... this is all sweet victory that I've never felt before. I feel like screaming it out and telling everyone. YAHOO

I have a date with my hubby tonight! We got a room at our timeshare on bonus time. Bonus time means it's cheap. Rather than have a empty room they rent it out by the night for cheap. It's right on the ocean and has a Jacuzzi tub in the master bathroom. So it's bath time at 4, 7, 11pm and 2 the next morning. :) I'm so excited for a date alone with my hubby tonight. I've got the candles packed. I'll take some pictures of us today and of course the ocean!

Shrunken Susy
291/158.4

100 Ways Wednesdays

I'm blogging on Wednesdays for 10 weeks on 100 ways my life has changed for me from going from obese to healthy. SignGurl (http://www.signgurl.blogspot.com/) started this idea three weeks ago on her blog and asked others to join along. So I did...
(Aunt Loretta if you could just skip over number 18 on this list that would be good. My Aunt Loretta reads my blog but not everything needs to be shared... LOL )

WEEK TWO

11. I can walk into any store and buy clothing and not be limited to Lane Bryant and Fashion Bug.
12. I can walk around and such and be out of breath or hurt with every step.
13. My car is short to the ground. I now do not have to push myself up and out of the car to get out.
14. I just feel more comfortable in my skin. Maybe because people don’t stare or avoid me anymore. Or it’s just me and I don’t feel like I stand out from a crowd.
15. I get out of the car more now and go inside places and participate and not just sit in the car and wait.
16. People tell me I look younger now.
17. I feel younger now!
18. They say for every 30 pounds you lose it makes a man’s penis an inch bigger. I’ve lost 130 pounds, need I say more… My hubby is happy! Even though I'm the one last lost the weight things fit better now. :)
19. I went to the hospital the other day to get an x-ray and when I put on the hospital gown -IT FIT! First time ever…
20. When my hubby and I take a bath together -WE FIT in the tub…LOL

arthritis...

I heard back from the Dr. office on my hip x-ray yesterday. They used the word "degenerative" and "mild". Which is good. It means I have mild arthritis! It means I should be able to get my hip muscles stretched out and maybe healthy again with hard work. Yeah for that! I have a chance at getting my hip back. :) I understand it will never be the same again, but if I could even get 50% back I would be thrilled. The doctor said I will be referred to a ortho Dr if I don't show progress in PT. Good enough! My physical therapist believes my muscles froze from years of not using them and compensating with my limits. They are tight and they need help. I hope they can teach me and help me. My insurance pays for 24 visits. Yeah, that just means I'M GETTING OLD and my muscles are messed up from a prior injury from years ago. good news :) Sounds like there is a chance we can work it out. I better make good use of my time I have these days...and take care of me!

159.0 pounds this morning-one more pound and I've made the goal I set for myself over a year ago. 169 pounds was my goal I thought I would never make. I could not picture myself at that size inside my head. It was my "I can't believe I weigh 169 goal". I came up with 158 because you put my height and weight in and that is the magic number that takes me from obese to normal. That is amazing. You'll never hear me bitch again about my weight. Anything past that is wonderful, but I feel lucky, blessed, thankful, amazed, and happy already. I just can't tell you how this has been a great thing for me in many ways of my life. For someone like me that has been standing on the side line watching for years- I say thank you god for this blessing in my life! Now it's just up to me to use this "tool" in my life forever.

100 ways Wednesday tomorrow. I'm blogging on Wednesdays for 10 weeks on 100 ways my life has changed for me from going to obese to healthy. My list is getting fun to put together each week. Check it out tomorrow...

I added this video here of my limp so you can all see what I've been living with for years. This video is from October 2007 and show my awful limp. I hated this video but thought I would post it cause it's me. I just want to be "a better version of me". Maybe a upgraded version of me? :)