New Stuff...

I got to shop yesterday! Boy oh boy did I need that! he he I had a return that needed to go back to Goodwill in Corvallis. I bought a pair of Calvin Klein jeans there more than a week ago for 9 bucks. They had a flair leg and were so nice. I loved them, but just because you can fit into certain clothes does not mean they fit. Too tight and I had the muffin top thing going on so I took them back. Too bad...So while I was in town I asked my hunny if he could drive me to TJ Maxx. Susy ♥ TJ Maxx! It has been a long time since I've been shopping. I've been too good for way too long...I was jonesing for a little shopping fix. I got a pair of jeans and 4 shirts for under $50 bucks. SCORE! I got this really cool sheer green/blue blouse for $12.99 that I just love. There is just one problem, what am I going to wear under this see-through shirt girls? HELP The picture below will not be what I will wear under it. What color should I wear under it and what kind of shirt. Short or long, V neck or not???...I need advice! I could wear a undershirt/camisole but I bet I won't be comfortable. I do live in Oregon where the sun does not get hot. But even so...what color , what kind of shirt and what color of pants? I'm thinking black pants. But still not sure what I'm going to wear under this really cool blouse. Come on, help me out here...So I'll snap a photo or two and comment away. I don't have much fashion sense when putting thingS together. I would never wear red shoes and a purple top like Barbara Walters did today on The Veiw. But it looked fine- on her. LOL

Crazy Scale...

I weighed in today at 144.6. Very nice! I try very hard to maintain my current weight. I don't obsess over it but I am very conscious of the food i eat. I decide what goes into my mouth. If the cookie/sweets are in my house I will still pick that cookie. The Dr. did not remove the "cookie bone"- (darn it). So for that reason I keep apples, oranges, grapes, yogurt, cottage cheese in my fridge all the time if I can-not the cookies & sweets. I've learned this...I see this, so I don't keep it in my face on a everyday basis. I will still pick at candy and sweets off and on through out the day if in front of me. Cookies/sweets make the butt big! I'm human- I want the yummy things in life, it just has to be once in awhile for the next 40 years-no biggy. But more importantly I want to maintain what I was blessed with for myself. I want to be true to myself and honest this time. The top of this month I have maintained my current weight of 145-149ish for one year! Yeah me! One year ago I was finding myself for the first time in the "normal" weight range for my height. I was thrilled-I am thrilled. No longer was I morbidly obese, obese, not over weight...i was just right! So having my first year after my all time low of 144 under my belt with no gains, I feel good about. But I understand this is my life long battle. One year down-many more to go! This past year I've had no big ups on the scale, no big drops, just staying steady. And that pleases me. I can do this! It's so clear what I have to continue to do for the rest of my life. And that is TAKE CARE OF ME and do what I should of done all those years ago. But I needed help. I believe that and I'm not ashamed to admit it. It's about moderation, picking healthy foods a good part of the time, and keep moving. Surgery gave me the tool I needed to help me in my journey. It's not perfect and at times your days can be controlled by the food you just ate because it's not agreeing with you. I have learned what works for my body and I've learned to listen to it. I also love the fact that something now reminds me "you better stop Susy" or you just might pay for that. And I hate feeling sick because of food, so I don't push those limits anymore. And having the stomach stapled also controls now how much I can take in. I now allow myself to do the up, down scale thing...but if that scale even gets close to 151 I make some changes and stop it right there. I don't look away! I will never tell myself my jeans are getting tight from the dryer again. I will not let myself down. Food is different now, it makes me feel good. If I pick crappy food-I feel crappy. If I pick apples, protein and such my body runs and feels better. You are what you eat...I feel it now.


Here's to the healthy me! And keep reading cause I'm going to keep blogging even now that I'm done losing 150 pounds and now I've maintained that loss for one year...- I still have things to say. You all keep me honest with myself and accountable! So thanks for being my Internet buddies! You have made my journey fun and I've learned something from all of you. Were all the same...helps to share and learn from each other.

WATCH ME SUCCEED!

Just say NO...

Sunday Stealing: Stole this from Debbie's blog @
http://throughthicknthin.blogspot.com/

1. What are your current obsessions?
My garden, I am also loving watching the baby hawks on a live web cam till they leave the nest, new clothes, and I'm a ♥Facebook junkie.

2. Which item from your wardrobe do you wear most often?
My cute PJ's. If I'm not in my jeans, I'm in cool PJ's. But ever since I fit into size 6 jeans I stay in them as long as I can.

3. What's for dinner?
Baked Parmesean chicken (with a bit of garlic), baked potato, & a green salad. Mm can't wait!

4. Last thing you bought?
Went grocery shopping last night. They had 7% lean ground beef for $1.88 a pound. Needless to say I'm going back today to get more! Hate stores with limits, so I'll just go back and take the whole family. :)

5. What are you listening to?
The morning news on TV.

6. If you were a god/goddess who would you be?
Hm I'm just not sure. No answer I guess.

7. Favorite holiday spots?
I have not nearly been to enough vacation spots, but we love Lake Tahoe! But ya I'm willing to try Hawaii, Mexico, or Australia.

8. Reading right now?
These silly questions.

9. 4 words to describe yourself.
caring
addictive
determined
sweet.

10. Guilty pleasure?
Coffee!

11. Who or what makes you laugh until you’re weak?
The show Two in a half men makes me laugh my ass off.

12. Planning to travel to next?
Late August- Lake Tahoe NV! For 7 wonderful days. Can't wait to go back and be able to hike the mountain's there and not just be a looker. I get to "do" this year!

13. Best thing you ate or drank lately?
Hm- I got some cake and ice cream this week and that was yummy. But I also created a wonderful homemade pizza a few nights ago with turkey pepperoni and other toppings.

14. When did you last get tipsy?
It's been awhile.

15. Care to share some wisdom?
Take care of you!

16. Nicest thing anyone’s ever said to you?
Actions speak louder than words to me. People talk the talk all the time. Actions speak louder!

The big 50!

Today is my hubby's birthday. Just sharing a couple of photos from the day of my sweet♥ hubby and our day! We went to lunch and then his mommy followed us home and we sat outside in the sun and had a nice visit and cake.

I feel very lucky to have such a wonderful person in my life supporting us and me all the way! Happy birthday hunny!

Hawk live cam...

www.kgw.com/raptorcam/?nvid=226982&live=yes
(cut and paste this link and let it load, but it's worth it)

This is a web cam of a Red-tailed hawk nest in downtown Portland Oregon.

This link should get you to a cool live web cam I'm loving watching these days of a hawk nest with 2 babies on top of a building. Kinda kool. Check it out- When the babies are out it's so sweet to watch them. I'm l♥ving them! When it's feeding time or the mommy leaves, it's so sweet!

There is a advertisement on the beginning of the live web cam- that's where I live!

Little white lies...

When I started this journey I was not sure how I would find myself talking about my weight loss when people asked me. I found as time passed I was open to share with people that asked. Sometimes the story was short and sweet and other times I found people really wanted to know "my truth". Losing 150 pounds you find you sound silly if you tell people anything but the truth. Time is passing, I'm seeing less and less folks that knew me as the really fat Susy. Except when you pull out the old drivers licence. My licence says' I weighed 190. LOL- I wished! 290 was the real number it should of said. I pulled out the driver licence the other day and the girl says' "boy you sure have lost a lot of weight". And then the dreaded next question??? How much did you lose and how???? For the first time I told a fib. I am tired of explaining my journey in a 20 second conversation so I said "I've lost 90 pounds and I eat way different now", and then I ran out the door. I knew if I said I had lost 150ish pounds I would have to explain. So I blurted out 90 pounds so I didn't have to explain. I'm starting to forget and feel more normal in my own skin now (as saggy as it is- LOL). I still catch myself in a reflection sometimes and wonder who the hell that girl is staring back at me. I will never allow myself to forget how it felt to live life in a obese body, but the pain from all those years is fading as time passes. Just felt easier to blurt something out and run like hell. :) Still felt wrong...i don't like to lie (even if it's a white lie) But sometimes you just don't feel like explaining it again and again.

On another note: My garden is planted and wonderful! It feels great to WANT to move. I mean I want to be out side, I want to move, I want to get something done and it feels grrreattt! My husband sells cedar planter benches at the farmers markets for us. I've never got one. He builds them and of course sells them but has never made me one of my own yet. I got 2 this week! Thanks hunny! (he reads my blog) So I have 3 huge planters with 2 benches in a U shape on my deck. I filled 6-7 planter boxes, a couple of others I bought with dirt for planting veggies in. I had to go out to the greenhouses and fill buckets with old dirt as the planters are huge, then I topped them off with miracle grow soil. So he made me recycle for the dirt I needed to fill the huge planters. I planted 2 tomato's plants, carrots, radishes, lettuce, onions, garlic, strawberry's, & peas. This is my first garden and I love it! I will get some flowers soon and then I will take a picture of my new re-done, cleaned up garden deck. I got the weeds pulled around the sides of the house too. Today I kind of feel like I got ran over by a carrot. he he Just means I can tell I was lifting, kneeling, planting, pulling and moving.

I can not express how much my life has changed since losing 150 pounds. I often think to myself "I wish I would of done this years ago". But I don't really think that way. I needed to understand and learn what I've learned to get to the place I'm at today. I know that. I'm just thankful I'm here today!

Cleaning house today some and then picking my son up from school so we can go birthday shopping for dad. It's Derrel's 50 birthday on Friday! Yahoo! It's all good except the fact that health insurance goes up another $150 a month and goes to 1400+ a month for the fam. What a birthday gift huh...We have got to do something in this country about health care. The cost of health insurance is driving my family to the poor house. But what is the other option-to be without???? Then we will be broke and bankrupt. (I'm just glad I'm not 278.01 anymore, I would of been finding myself at that dr more and more getting fatter and heavier.) -Tiff taught me some insurance lingo-stands for morbidly obese with insurance company's.
So were broke but have health insurance today. Sad!

that my week so far- been a bz bz beaver.

LATER GATORS...

HAPPY EARTH DAY! How are you helping the earth today? I'm going to Dutch Bros. coffee and taking my own mug and for doing so I get a drink for a buck! Now that's one I can afford. Coffee for a buck! Sweet!

Cheeeeze Burgers and sunshine☼...

Cheeseburgers= G.O.O.D!

I don't eat them. When I eat a burger while I'm out and about I always get a garden burger. When I cook burgers at home I cook 7% fat lean ground beef. I never get mayo and eat most of my sandwiches of any kind dry. Mainly cause I'm used to it. I've done the life long diet thing so I went "fat free, no mayo, salad dressing on the side thing along time ago. I am used to bland and it's ok with me. But I do look at any reason to cut or throw some calories aside when ever I can- except yesterday. OK...Back to the cheeseburger. Had one yesterday...with cheese, with mayo, tomato's, lettuce, pickles, ketchup, mustard. Mm g.o.o.d.! I almost ate a 3rd of the burger and a bit of salad. I was amazed when I looked down and it was disappearing. Going, going, almost gone... If I have a bite of salad I might eat 1/2 of a sandwich usually. That just seemed like a lot for me now days. But it was yummy! So I had my cheeseburger fix for the year and up goes the scale...Cheeseburgers make u phat! 150.4 today. One cheeseburger and up 2 pounds. Wowza But it's all good. That was my yummy treat...now time to say NO again for a bit. I know that junk food makes you want more shit food. It's warm outside, were heading home in the car...I think ice cream?????? Lordy Susy....NO I just thought it and did not say it out loud. I remembered what I just had ate 4 hours prior. Just say NO Susy...so I did! LOL

Otherwise I do feel better now at last. The ☼sunshine☼ has been out and bright. It's been wonderful. Today I am planting my container garden, pulling weeds and playing in the dirt. We are going for a high of 84 degrees today. YAHOO I live in the country and have plenty of deer that would love to help eat the veggies I'm planting. So rather than have a 8 foot high fence I am trying to grow my veggies in containers. Some veggies I can't grow cause we don't get enough heat here where I live. (I don't even own a air conditioner it's so mild here) I don't need a shit load of veggies and I work at the farmers market. I love to buy certain things from my local growers too. So I've got the strawberry's, garlic, lettuce, tomato's. I still want carrots, onions and a few other things but I'm getting started with what I have. I'll post pictures later of my first garden. And I can't wait to plant the flowers. I will do that in a week or two as the weather stays nice.

Gotta run...I've got things to do and a cheeseburger to work off today!

glad that's over...I hope!

Easter Sunday= really sick! Barf, ralph, barf.

Monday= shaky, I felt better but felt ran over and tired. Took it easy that day. Got my haircut.

Tuesday= felt pretty good. Not 100% yet

Wed.= felt good till about 3ish, by 5 I was sideways on the couch and in bed by 7pm. Did not sleep until after 3am because I was up getting sick again and again.

Thursday= had shit I HAD to do and places we HAD to go. I was sick to my tummy all day. Did not eat anything till 1pm. I did feel better after eating some salad.

I feel better this morning. I feel pretty good while sitting on my butt. When I get up and start moving I feel kind of rough still. I'm not sure why I felt better for a day and a 1/2 and then wham- I'm on the toilet ralphing my guts up again. Lordy...that was rough!

Were going to have a beautiful weekend here in Oregon. They are saying it will get to ☼ 75 degrees or so. Can't wait. Next thing on my list is get my weeds pulled around the house and my container garden started.

Looky what I found...

I've been cleaning out ever corner of our house piece by piece for a few months now. Today I found a few really old pictures deep in a black hole. LOL These pictures went back into that hole. But I scanned them first.

1992= i was 25.

I think I was probably at my heaviest in these photos but I'm not even sure what that number is. This week I also found a tracking diet log of mine from 14 years ago and I logged 330 in that paper. I'm thinking I must of been 340+ in these pictures.

Pictures tell the whole story.
I need to say nothing else.

Easter sick...

I have no pictures, I had no fun...Easter sucked! I was so looking forward to the day too. I woke feeling kind of rough yesterday. Made myself get off the couch, get up and go to mom's house. I figured I would feel better after a shower and I got moving. Well by 2pm I was in the bathroom getting sick. By the time we got to mom's house at 3 I just wanted to lay on the couch I was so nauseous. I had just spend several miles using a bag to barf in. I didn't want to ruin the day so I didn't make Derrel take me home. I wanted him to visit his mommy as she made a wonderful dinner. I felt so bad. So needless to say I've spent the last 20 hours sick. God, if I puked again I think I was going to shoot myself. It hurts so bad after the 8th time. I feel like I've been run over by a train. Jonathan came home throwing up last week from school last week and I'm thinking he shared the flu with me. :(

And I've still had no jelly beans. Blah

Glad that's over! I'm taking it easy this morning. Just drinking my yogurt drink slowly and going to get my haircut later if I can feel better today.

Sent from jelly bean heaven...

OK I have to share this story. My family doesn't believe me...but it's the truth HONEST. Who would lie on Easter weekend? I go to town yesterday and say on my way out the door, "I will be coming home with no jelly beans" and I buy jelly beans by accident. Sure you do???? Here's how the story goes:


I go to Wal mart yesterday to get the boy some candy for a Easter basket I'll be putting together for him. I had already asked him what he wanted to see in his basket this year. "What is your candy addiction this week bud"? Sometimes it's Skittles, sometimes Snickers. He likes to change it up from month to month. This month he is in love with Starbursts. Ok good enough, off to Wal mart. I walk in the door and the first thing I see is candy lined up when you first walk in the door. I see Starbursts...good enough, so I grab a bag. I want to get in and out fast. No time for smelling the chocolate. I get Jonathan his favorites (not my favorites, his favorites) He told me in his basket he would like to see some "Starbursts, Skittles, and a chocolate bunny". I don't buy myself or Derrel any candy while going down the aisles. I buy D a card, not candy. I made it though the store and did not put one bunny item in my cart for myself. I was proud ♥. I even mean the candy you know will go in the kids basket but you'll eat later candy??? I have yet to be weak and eat the candy. Out of sight, out of mind, and I've been doing great with that. Buy me flowers for Easter...Not candy, please. I was in and out of Wal mart...Easter candy, new hair dryer and Subway-get out/get home! So I get home and unload the candy into his basket so it's all ready for Sunday mornings "hiding" of the basket. Do you all do that?? Hide the Easter basket and make the kids search all over the house for the basket of candy? I did when I was little and we do that now. Gotta make them work for the goods. LOL So I've got the Skittles, the bunny, cute toy, smarties, and you remember the Starburst's I bought. Well they turned out to be JELLY BEAN Starburst's. I love the jelly beans! And these are the "yummy good" jelly beans. Poo I found this story to be funny and it has been a joke since I came home from Wal mart on Friday. I go to town and say on my way out the door, "I will be coming home with no jelly beans" and I buy jelly beans by accident. Sure you do???? or could they have been sent from jelly bean heaven??

Silly story...

For Easter we are going to Derrel's mom's house. She is doing a ham and her famous potato salad. It's so yummy. She wants me to bring my sweet carrots to dinner this year. They are not good for you at all. I boil them, cover the carrots in brown sugar & butter and bake them on low. Shall I use Splenda this year? Or maybe I could cover the carrots in Peeps. LOL don't you dare take me seriously...I'm kidding!

Sunshine part 2...☼ ☼ ☼

Went for that walk today by the river front.

☼ ☼ ☼ Here are my 2 pictures of the sunshine ☼ ☼ ☼

Sunshine...☼ ☼ ☼

FACT: The other day our local weatherman shared this info with us. It has been 6 months since Oregon has had two 70 degree days in a row until today. ☼ ☼ That's sad... no wonder I'm about crazy. Saturday the sun came out but it was kind of chilly and windy. Yesterday the warmth felt so so so good and was wonderful @ 70 degrees. Today were getting to 77 degrees. I feel like a drug addict that is longing for the sun and it's ray's. It's been so long and such a hard winter, it felt so good I couldn't get enough yesterday. I got so much done yesterday after spending some of the day outside. We came home and I started in doing the "normal" cleaning stuff. Floors, toilets, laundry, dishes and so on...Anyway, 2 rolls of paper towels, 2 swiffers, & 10 poundings of the feather duster, one can of glass cleaner later= all the windows in my house are clean! I took down all the dusty curtains and washed them too. I was covered in spider webs. Blah

Today we are heading to Eugene to get some kind of tool Derrel needs for D and S Greenhouses and I'm just going along for the ride. I told him I don't have any plans today on our trip to the valley except Costco and a walk. I don't even care if I go shopping...I just want to go for a walk some where, some park, any where. So yesterday we worked...today we play in the sunshine! 75 degrees and I'm so excited! Life has sure changed for the better. You would of never heard me say "gotta go for a walk, fun, excited, park, in the same sentence two plus years ago. And I shared that slide show with you all from last Saturday. That lighthouse is 20 minutes from my house and has been open for 4 years or so and I have NEVER been there before. Why you ask???...FAT kept me away. The hills, the climb, the stairs. And while we were there we bought a yearly parking pass for the hikes and state parks around Oregon. We have already been on 2 hikes since Jan. and each visit is $5-10 bucks per car and we know were doing more so we bought the yearly hiking pass. Hell yes! No more "we can't do that" anymore. Were now going and were going to try that! Gosh it feels great. I feel so excited most days. I know I'm silly but inside I'm bursting with excitement sometimes. I can't even put it into words. I'm telling you "it's the little thing's" I'm so thankful for these days. I played a good Ol game of HORSE in basketball with Jon last Saturday to. First time ever, sad but true. That was worth smiling and was fun playing with my son. We will do that again together. I know he enjoyed it!

Anyway, I've got a shower to take and some sunshine to find! I'm outta here!

Our Saturday!

Yaquina Head Lighthouse in Newport Oregon

Crap you don't care about...but I was bored questions...

LAST…
Last beverage: coffee and OJ yogurt protein drink.
Last phone call: my best friend in Missouri.
Last text message: I don’t text.
Last song you listened to: Pink Floyd- Learning to fly.
Last time you cried: couple of Friday's ago.

HAVE YOU EVER...
Dated someone twice: no.
Been cheated on? Yup.
Lost someone special? Oh yes.
Been depressed? Who in the world hasn’t been depressed @ times.

LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLORS:
Pink
Blue
Red

HAVE YOU:
Laughed until you cried: Yes.
Kissed anyone on your friend's list: No.
How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: ½ of them. I don't just let any person be my friend on my list.
How many kids do you want to have: One is enough.
Do you have any pets: Yes…Rufus but I still want a cat!
What did you do for your last birthday: Rented a room on the ocean with a jet tub!
What time did you wake up today: 5am, like always.
What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping.
Name something you CANNOT wait for: To wear a dress someday.
Most visited web page: Facebook !
Piercing? Ears but there is nothing in the holes.
Tattoos? 2 and getting another sooner than later.

RIGHT NOW:
Eating: Nope.
Drinking: acid free coffee now that my orange yogurt protein drink is gone.
Listening to: the morning news.

HAVE YOU EVER :
Kissed a stranger: No.
Sex on first date: nope.
Had your own heart broken: Yes.
Been arrested: Nope.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? No.
Wanted to kill someone ever? Maybe make them disappear.
Among your blog friends, whom would you like to kiss? LOL are you kidding me.

FOODOLOGY
What is your salad dressing of choice?- Ranch.
What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?- Lee's Wok.
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?- Garlic green beans.
What are your pizza toppings of choice?-ANYTHING but mushrooms and I don’t mind picking off toppings.
What do you put on your toast??- dry but sometimes PB.

TECHNOLOGY
How many televisions are in your house?- 2.
What color cell phone do you have?- UGLY RED…I WANT A IPHONE!
Do you have an Ipod?- NO !

BULLOLOGY
If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?- Nah.
If you could change your name, what would you change it to?- I'M happy with the one I have.
Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?- NO, barf... but I bet my hubby would!

DUMBOLOGY
How many pairs of flip flops do you own?- 0- I hate them.
Last time you had a run-in with the cops?- YELLOW LIGHT $257 BUCKS. NEEDLESS TO SAY NOW A YELLOW SIGNAL MEANS STOP. 257 BUCKS...CRAZY

FAVORITOLOGY
Season?- FALL TIME…LOVE IT!
Holiday?- 4 OF JULY. No candy comes with that holiday!
Day of the week?- Sunday.

RANDOMOLOGY
First place you went this morning?- THE BATHROOM, SCALE, OJ PROTEIN DRINK, COFFEE, COUCH, LAPTOP.
What is the last movie you saw? Slumdog Millionaire. (loved it!)
Do you smile often?- YES.
Sleeping Alone Tonight?- NO.

OTHER-OLOGY
Do you always answer your phone?- NO.
4 o clock in the morning and you get a text.-I live in the country. I won't get that text cause I don't get cell service at my house.
If you could change your eye color what would it be?- More green.
What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic?- There is no a Sonic for miles and miles. But I remember that drink with cherries. Yummo!
Favorite Christmas song(s)- LOVE Wilson Phillips Christmas CD.
Can you do push ups?- girl push ups.
Can you do a chin up?- NO!
Does the future make you more nervous or excited?- EXCITED!!!
Ever been in a car wreck?- YES! 2 MANY.
Do you have an accent?- NO.
Plans tonight?- movie rental.
Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom?- YES.
Name 3 things you bought yesterday?- I HAD A LIST WITH THE FRONT PAGE AND BACK COVERED WITH SHIT WE NEEDED FROM WAL MART. new small blender, vitamins, shampoo...nothing fun-trust me.
How will you bring in the New Year?- Under the sheets with my hubby! :)What songs do you sing in the shower?- Don't sing.
Ever had someone sing to you?- NO.
Do you like to cuddle?- LOVE to cuddle.
Do you believe in staying close with your ex's/prospects?- TO HELL WITH MY EX AND ALL HIS PROSPECTS!
Are most of the friends in your life new or old?- Old.
Do you like pulp in your orange juice?- NO hate it.

Flickr

I created a new Flickr album of me "shrinking" today @ Flickr. Lots of before, after and through the years pictures.

For those of you that have been following me- you have seen most of these pictures. But for anyone else...

here's the link * *(http://www.flickr.com/photos/shrinkingsusy)

Check it out!

ןıɹdɐ sןooɟ ʎɐp weigh in...

Today is weigh in day...We all know I track my weight and record my weight on the 1st day of every month...This month not good... i gained...I gained a lot! April fools! Just pulling your chain. All is good!

• 11 months of maintaining for me!
• weight 150
• happy, happy, joy, joy!
• = 144 pound loss

and the happy part for me is I'm maintaining my weight as time passes. It feels good to have no gain in 11 months after I stopped losing weight. I know this is where the hard part starts. My goal is to use my surgery as a tool and be writing these words next year. I have to stay focused!

Yeah Susy...thinking of changing my name as I'm not shrinking anymore. Shrunken Susy...nah that doesn't sound good...think, think, think...