Life is hard...but good!

My newest jeans and shirt from the 2nd hand store-

Found this shirt and thought it was perfect. It says'- Life is good! I'm almost 2 years post op, I weigh 151 pounds and have been maintaining that weight for 8 months now. So I agree- life is hard...but good!


















294/151
2/21/07

It's just money...

I've had a bit of a rough week this week. I feel scared, worried and stressed. Rather than nag, bitch, wine and sound pitiful...I'll just say all this "economy stuff" has really gotten to me. I can't find work, my hubby isn't driving in his job as there is no bus charters to work and everyone around me is losing there job. The money we did not squander or spend is gone as stocks just keep falling and have taken such a hit the past year. It makes me sick that it's almost gone. How can that be???? I feel so bad for my family and many, many others. Were one of the folks that didn't over spend or charge what we couldn't afford and most of all tried really hard not over extend our credit and our self. But many people like my family are paying for others greed with the loss our jobs, and our few stocks. Last night we just didn't even turn on the evening news cause I can't stand to hear all the sad news anymore. It's every where, every channel, and I can't take it anymore. I've had to try to step back and not get caught up in all this because it's taking a toll on me. Family, health, and love is what is really important but all that doesn't pay the bills. So I'm in this battle of knowing what is right and wrong but money and bills still mater all the same. I had a friend tell me yesterday "you've been broke before, without health insurance and you survived before". Fair enough...being broke and poor is just a piece of the picture. I am worried to be without health insurance and I'm scared and worried about paying the monthly bills. I'm not 20 anymore and way back then I didn't get sick or need doctors unless I had the flu or something like that. Now my hubby is 50, I'm 41. One event @ the hospital could ruin us and everything we have worked so hard to have. And how am I going to pay the electric bill this month. Some days are tough, sad and scary. Guess well see how this all goes down. There's not much I can do about it today. So now you know......been a sad week for lots of us. I'm not alone.

Were off to the bulk food grocery store and Costco to get the most out of our dollar and get some grocery's.

Have a good weekend bloggers.

Lisa Said...Susy Said...

Lisa said:

Since you lost the weight and stabilized your weight after two years, do you find that you can't eat "bad" things for fear of gaining the weight?

Susy said:

In moderation for sure. When I indulge in something sweet or starchy the scale goes up almost every time. Eat what i want?....and not gain weight 2 years post op. No I do not feel that way. I know I will have to eat salad, protein, and veggies FOREVER now. I know Dr. R says we don't have to count calories or worry about sugar free things anymore post op but I do worry and believe that 70 to 80% is going to be up to me in the end and more and more as time goes on. I eat something I normally don't and boom- up goes the scale. Which makes me understand what I have to do to maintain this weight. Thankfully I get full fast. But that's what I paid him to do, huh... LOL And yes...I'm scared to death and I know that comes from years of failing over and over. I will not let myself down...I can do this!

New Threads...

I got a couple of new things this past week. Yesterday while in Eugene we hit a couple of second hand shops and I scored a couple of cute tops for cheap. I ♥ second hand shops now. As long as I have enough time to go through racks and racks of clothes, I very much enjoy 2nd hand shopping. Finding good deals @ a great prices makes me happy. I love new clothes and I love shopping, so it works for me. Give me $30-50 bucks and I'll come home with something for everyone and lots of bags. We even got a new Circulon pan/pot for $2.99 yesterday. That's a expensive brand of pots and pans that we use here and love. Derrel spotted that good deal. I've even got Jonathan going through the sports section looking for basketball jerseys, shorts and shoes he loves so much but we can't afford from the sports stores. Sometimes I have to go through a 100 things to find a few things to try on. I'm working on restocking my PJ pants drawer right now at the second hand stores. All my PJ pants are huge on me so I've been keeping my eye out for cute PJ pants for me. I got this really cute pair of heart PJ's yesterday for $3. SCORE

Anyway, I had Derrel take my picture yesterday in a couple of new shirts I got. I got my haircut and thought it was time for a new photo or two. Otherwise life is the same...boring! LOL Staying in, keeping it cheap and staying low. One day at a time. My weight is at 152. Not really happy about that. For myself I want to be around 147. But is there really a BIG ol difference in 147 to 152???...Not really, and I bounce around those 5 pounds all the time. I'm not stressing, not ignoring, and not looking away. I know I'm not really doing anything wrong and being honest with myself is what is most important. Just means I've been slacking and I need to move more. I've also been making a few new recipes at home this past few weeks. I've made home made pizzas on whole wheat tortillas with turkey pepperoni. I made my family lean taco salads. I use 7% ground beef when I use hamburger. And we have been eating lots of fruit. It's been our evening snack the past few nights. Few grapes, banana, apple. Mmm Just been trying new things as I'm stuck home and I need a job!



Picture time-

President Barack Obama...At last

How can I not blog today... It's a great day! The inauguration speech was great and I felt proud to watch and witness a African American become the president of the United States today. I feel happy there is change coming to a economy that is trouble. It makes me hopeful that together we make changes that need to happen for all of us. I could go on forever...so don't even get me started. Health care, out sourcing, jobs, greed, stock market, over spending... We need fresh ideas and change.

Obama give me hope as I believe he really truly will make changes. I watched today as million's of people did and loved every minute of it. Silly huh, but I'm lovin it...But time is a wasting and BUSH just keeps spending our money with no accountability and I can't stand to watch anymore. Thank goodness it's over.

Susy is singing...♫ hey, hey- good bye ♫ BUSH... he he.

it's a great OBAMA day!

BUSH be gone!

Get this widget!

Real Life Facebook

This is frickin funny. I love FaceBook and this made me laugh. Wanna be my friend...LOL

Off Week...☠

Not much to blog about. Kind of a boring week here @ my house. Not to much to report. I'm feeling like this is my off week as we all have them from time to time. I feel tired and kind of blue this week. With all that is going on with this economy we are really feeling it here at my house. I'm not working still, my hubby has been cut back on hours and some days are harder than others to keep your chin up. Thankful for the little things god has blessed us with but scared at the same time of what could happen.

When I look back at my week I've ate lots of breads this week, and that's not working for me. Bread sticks, bread on my garden burger, 2nd piece of bread on my sandwich and so on...Up goes the scale when I do that. But bread is so yummy. Mindless munching from being bored I think. We have ☼ sunshine here but it's so cold outside. I find still not wanting to go outside and be busy cause it's so cold. I feel lazy and tired and I have not been sleeping good this week. I'm also so so so ready for spring and some warmth ☼.

☑ Just checking in...boring overall...I'll be back when something fun☮, exciting✌, unusual♥, and or wonderful happens‽ ‽ ‽ LOL

NBA Game - Blazers 84 - Pistons 83

We won! The last few seconds they slammed a point and it was great. The weather almost stopped us from traveling to Portland to go see the Portland Trailblazers vs. Detroit Pistons play last night. It just poured sideways all day yesterday. It was coming down so hard and very windy. With 3-5 inches of rain coming down and having to drive to Portland which is 135 miles away (270 round trip) we almost passed on a game we have had tickets for months. Jonathan had also invited a friend to go with us a few months back. The boys were psyched and so looking forward to this game. Rather than let them down Derrel drove through the storm and all the rain...and we had a blast. None of us had ever been to a live NBA game. We made it with a few seconds to spare. We were almost late and we could hear the crowd going wild, so we took off running through the Rose Garden to get to our seats before the team introductions. I ran.....never before, the old Susy doesn't run. I would of never done that a few years ago. NO- I could of never done that until a year ago! It was fun. And Derrel say's "mom's running...we better pick up our feet boys". It wasn't me slowing us down or holding us back. Anyway, here are some photos from last night. We had nose bleed seats when we got there. The boys headed down closer to try to find 2 extra seats closer. They sat as close as they could with out the people checking there tickets. At half time Derrel and I were able to snag 2 seats on the side of the court and much, much closer. I jumped, we screamed and it was a blast. I realize now how much I held myself back being obese all those years. Being afraid that someone might notice me I guess and that kept me standing on the side my whole life. It's just so different now. I don't feel afraid and I can just have fun and not worry who is looking at my fat body and judging me...just a silly NBA game but even there I had a few Ta Da moments of FREEDOM.

Our 10 dollar snack. Look at all that salt on the pretzel. Blah
I picked off all the salt and it was still salty.

Tuesday' picture food blog

It's official! YAHOO I weighed in @ 144.0 today. That makes my total loss @ 150 pounds even. pinch pinch

I'm taking pictures again today of the foods I eat. No other reason than I'm just sharing. I like seeing or reading about what others eat and/or how much post op, so I thought I'd give it a try. I eat" normal" sized meals now (or what should of been normal). I pretty much can eat whatever I choose in moderation. My surgery does keep me in check. I understand what happens if I eat to much sugar or eat to much and so far I have respected that over the past two years. I don't need all the "extras" that come with a meal anymore. I eat my protein first and have a bite or two of the other things on my plate. Everything is just much small now. I don't count calories but I do think about them and what's going into my mouth. If I can take off bread, buy low fat or pick that off- I do. I need to stay aware, so I'm trying to learn and make this a habit so someday it just feels natural to me. And I feel that more and more each day. Overall I am very proud of myself as most times I make the right food choice. Pick the garden burger over the all meat hamburger, salad over fries, one piece of bread rather than two, cottage cheese on my salad rather than a ton of dressing and so on...Now I take two or three fries from my family and I got to taste them, and I'm good. I'm trying to think about the little things and make healthy habits that feel normal. Forever habits, cause that's what I need to do forever to maintain a healthy weight for myself. I've learned my surgery is my tool and it's still all up to me. I don't trust myself with shit food in the house (not one bit), so there's not to much crap in the house. Keep good choices in my reach rather than crap fatty, sugary, high calorie foods. I've learned I will still pick the pop tart over the carrots unless there is no pop tart in my house. So pop tarts come into the house as a treat and they don't hang around in my house and are not welcome. LOL I know myself and learned that the last two years. It's easier for me to just not have "trigger" foods in my face. I'm trying to never let myself down again like I always have in my past. Doesn't mean perfection-what it means to me is- I can never look away again and lie to myself. I looked away long enough, had enough pain. Be the best I can be and make myself proud. With no regrets. The things that really matter in life I am sticking by that rule forever. And I put myself on that list 2 years ago for the first time ever. No Regrets

(gosh that just got mushy for a food blog) LOL

So here goes...

Tuesday's picture food blog:

Wake up protein drink-

Blended drink with ice, orange yogurt, orange protein and OJ. With 2 spoons of benefiber, creatine and glutamine.

Breakfast

My step mom Carolyn gifted me with this cool electric egg cooker for Christmas. She found it at Bed, Bath and Beyond. Every time I made a poached egg it never turned out for me and I was in the kitchen cussing over my eggs. Frustrated I asked her for some kind of pan or something to cook poached eggs in. I love this new gadget. Perfect poached eggs!

One poached egg
one slice of bread- 3/4 with my egg. 1/4 with peanut butter
1 small banana

Lunch @ our favorite Cantonese (Chinese) restaurant

tea

Egg flower soup- I only eat 1/2 of my soup or I would be too full for green beans.

Garlic Green beans- I ate less then half of my green beans and a quarter of my fried rice.

One fortune cookie

Starbuck time

Green tea frappuccino

Snack

one banana

one South Beach protein bar

Dinner

1 small apple

2/3 cup of oats

cinnamon and sugar (equal)

Other things I put in my mouth today:

I'm done taking pictures of my food for awhile. My son thinks I'm nuts and Derrel just doesn't "get it". I think it's been kind of fun and silly. I like to be silly- so it fits me. So rather than be called crazy and take my son's comments I can't keep taking pictures of every bite. silly gurl Anyway that's 2 days in the life of Susy's food blog. I eat pretty much the same foods each week. Same ol same kind of days. That works for me and I prefer it that way.

Picture food blogging

I'm not the first to do this and I'm stealing other bloggers ideas here with picture food blogging... I thought it would be kind of fun to do a few times this week. I'm going to take pictures of the food I eat. I going to try it a few times this week to show what kinds of food I eat and how much. So here goes! Monday's picture food blog.

Every morning I make my blended drink with ice, orange yogurt, orange protein and oj. I also add 2 spoons of benefiber and creatine and glutamine to this yummy drink.

I tried FiberOne cereal for the first time this morning. No milk, just ate it dry. I didn't feel sick after it so that was good. I've been having trouble with my morning meal and feeling sick after I eat so I'm trying new things. I also had a South Beach PB protein bar.

I shared this cookie with Jonathan mid morning.

I made a 1/2 turkey sandwich from the left over frozen turkey from Christmas. One slice of bread, turkey, swiss cheese, light mayo. And a few Wheat Thins. And like I've said before I pick at my food or still don't know how much to serve myself so this is what was left when I was done with lunch.

And don't forget who I share my meals with. He's always close by when I eat. Rufus can eat as much as I do. he he And we always share.

COFFEE TIME (still drinking the acid free coffee from time to time). I feel yucky today so I made some coffee.

Dinner tonight I made me a salad and a small slice of left over pizza. Lettuce, cottage cheese, croutons, almonds, 2 strips of bell pepper. Before and after. Pizza is gone, and a bit of salad left (made too much).

Few other things I put into my mouth today were: just a few Red Hotts and my vitamins. I drank sugar free kool aid today.

Now me and my stuffy head are going to bed... I'll do this a few more times this week.

update...

Feeling pretty rough today. I spent a good part of last week sneezing my ass off and now I understand why. Today I am stuffed up again and feeling lazy. Hoping a shower makes me feel better later. I have the boy home one more day. Ug He has been home for 3 weeks and today is records day. Like 3 weeks wasn't enough we need another day off. I'm down a couple of more pounds. I saw 144 once (last time I was sick) and today I weighed in @ 144.5. I ate salad yesterday at Olive Garden and 1 piece of the 3 pieces of manicotti they serve. I didn't eat really bad yesterday but no reason for the loss other than I'm sick. I'm not trying to lose anymore weight. I feel great @ 147 pounds and being I'm 5'7 that puts me in the normal range for my height vs. weight. Just must be a bouncy week. That puts my total weight loss @ 150 pounds even.

I got to spend sometime with my brother Scott and his wife Barb the past few days. Went down there on the 1st as it was Scott's birthday. He was feeling sick that day which was a bummer for him. But it was so good to see him and Barb. Scott and Barb look great. I love Barb's new short hair and she's looks so great. Barb and I did find time for a short visit at Starbucks but I could spend hours talking alone with her. I wish we would of had more time. Sunday they were still in Oregon. They planned on a trip to Eugene to take there nephew back to collage. So knowing they were still in Oregon I couldn't stand it and wanted to see them again before they fly home early Monday. Not sure when I'll get to see them again so we drove to Eugene which is 2 hours away for lunch @ Olive Garden. YuMmY! I got in another hug and visit and glad we did that. Wasn't as hectic as dinner on the 1st with the whole family. That's it...think I'll take a nap. Aah Choo, sniff, sniff...

Sunday's food log-

Wake up drink (every morning)

OJ protein drink with yogurt

with benefiber, creatine, glutamine

breakfast

1/2 banana

1 south beach protein bar

snack in the car

1 protein ball

lunch

plate of salad

1 piece of Manicotti

1 bread stick

snack

12oz coffee

dinner

small bowl of leftover potato soup

and children's benadryl - nighty night

3 things you might not know about me...

1) I love smiley faces. On cups, pictures, my computer, sleep pants, pillows, stickers or anything! I even have a piggy bank smiley face. There not all over my house thick but I bet if I counted I've got 25 plus different items and I there is always room for more. The search is always on!


2) I wear glasses. Dorky ones, pink ones, blue ones, cheap ones. I wear contacts some days too. For years I've had to put glasses on to read. And every year I can see a little less. I can't see anything anymore clearly. Even at the store if I don't have contacts in or glasses on my face I can't see the price or read it at all. I still don't want to admit that, but I put on my glasses and I can see how dirty everything is and I can see so much clearer. I have 20 pairs of dollar store glasses all over my house.


3) Gourmet drink junkie (as my hubby would say). Not everyday, but enough. I love Starbucks and Dutch Bros. Any excuse seems to work for a reason to stop. Having money stops me some days but going to have a green tea frappuccino does make me very happy and feel spoiled! You might of guessed that one by already¿¿¿




BONUS) I can drive a tractor! Bet you didn't know that! Only a Kubota tractor and never a John Deer but yes Susy can get on the tractor and move dirt if needed. :)

DID YA LEARN ANYTHING¿

New Year's Day...

I get to see my brother Scott and Barb today! YAHOO



Today is Scott birthday. They flew✈ in from LA and I. can't. wait. to. see. them! As soon as dinner is over I'm snagging Barb and were outta there.

StArBuCkS TIME... and girl time!

I'd love to shop with her, but don't think well find the time for that but hope we find time to just go chat @ Starbucks. It will be great to see them. I'm excited!



http://barbswls.blogspot.com/ -Barbara's blog