Were Home...

I was so happy to be home and I am happy to be home today. Yesterday I smiled all day because we were going home. I did make it through the airports yesterday pretty good I must say. I felt better Tuesday and never did feel fuzzy. Dr. R said we could drink some water, just eat a soda cracker with it or add salt to the drink. So I did. Yummy, just water. I don't mine the Gatorade, but my teeth are turning red, blue, pink from all the colors. So I was pleased to have a water bottle with salt in it. I am very dehydrated. I'm not peeing as much right now. Drinking pretty good, but my body seems to be taking it in. I am tired today, but feel better. I shaved my legs again today, and unpacked most of the luggage. I felt like eating some again today. Had yogurt again, with a little banana mushed up. Some tomato soup and crackers, sucked the juice out of a orange and of course Gatorade.

I am a little worried about returning to work on Monday. Running the store all day worries me a little. I know me, I will work my hardest when I'm there and do my best. It would drive me crazy to just "hold up the counter", I will help and run for my customers, and I know I don't feel up to par yet. Monday is not here yet, so I have sometime. I hope my boss will just let me do 18-20 hours the first week. But I know it's inventory week so we will all have to work on Wednesday of next week.

I was thinking today that I imagine the next year will be full of many ta da moments. I am lucky for that. That will be exciting. I was down 7 pounds yesterday from my weigh in the day of surgery. My focus is on feeling better. One reason I did this is because I did not feel good each day anyhow, and I was afraid how I would feel @ 50 and being over weight. I do feel better today. Each day I feel more like ME.

Get to go home tomorrow...

Well.... Each day is full of emotion. I do feel better each day even if it's some small thing. Today was the first day I really wanted to eat anything. I ate a few bites of yogurt and applesauce. 1/3 cup of tomato soup and two crackers. And we found a Mexican place on a ride we went on and I got some re fried beans, and I ate oh 11 small bites or so I say. They were good! Feels like so much but it's not. We went on a ride to Red Rock here in Vegas just to get out in the sun some and out of our motel room. It was pretty. We laughed and had a pretty good time together.

Then we went to the mall so we could walk around like I know I need to be doing. When we got into the mall I started feeling fuzzy again. It's like I can't focus or have been really bad sick with the flu. I tried eating some salt like I've been told to try for different reasons, and no real difference that time. We walked the whole mall together and headed back to the hotel. I got sad cause I'm not up to par. Guess I'm just beating my self up. I have too not do that. I feel better just sitting and no fuzziness but when i move and walk I feel that way again. I am drinking my Gatorade too. I got several glasses in today. So then I wonder do I need to put on another hormone patch because I cried. Had fun this afternoon, then i feel sad cause of the way I'm feeling. Guess in the back of my head is I know tomorrow we head home and I have to get through 2 really big airports with this fuzzy ass faint head, and can I do it.
Derrel has been so so so great to me. Thank god. He reminds me that it has been 5 days and i am getting better each day. It may just be small steps but better. I know this in the back of my head but....... :(

Sunday in Vegas...4 days post op

Today is Sunday... I'm ready to go home to Oregon. We can leave on Tuesday. I feel better today. When I woke this morning I was sad a bit. I just want to feel like me again. Scott, Barb, Derrel are all reminding me that I am feeling and sounding better. Derrel tells me he can see that I'm getting out of bed better and such. My big break today was I felt good enough to shave my legs in the shower, and 2 days ago it was all I could do to get in the shower and brush my teeth. Scott and Barb have been so good to me, I am thankful for there kindness and love. It has helped a lot! It means a lot to me. I know there busy and they have there lives , and they have been very caring each day calling and talking me through and checking on me.

I have been e mailing one of the other ladies. Her name is Karen and she is from WA. She has been having a hard time just as I have the past few days. It's been nice talking to her and sharing. I don't understand some of the others are getting out and about. I do not have much strength and only feel good sitting up right. I start walking and such I feel very dizzy and weak. I need more salt, I feel dehydrated and fried. I don't have the strength to get out much which makes me sad a bit. I wish I could, but it's been slow to feeling better and better. But each day I do feel somewhat better.

Today we went for a ride down the strip wishing we could get out and about. The casinos are soooooo big here that it seem like to much. I am being good to myself and doing what I can each day. We did play slots today for about a hour. I lost 30 bucks and I'm done, I could of got something cool rather than give it to them. Derrel does enjoy gambling, but I'm not good at it at all. Derrel stays sometimes 2-3 hours and just loses a bit or stays even, but not me. We came back to our hotel for a "bite" of soup. I was able to eat a quarter can of tomato soup and 2 crackers for lunch/dinner. My taste buds are all screwed up. I wonder how long that will last. Nothing tastes good or right at all. I'm so thirsty. Wishing I could chug a pop, orange juice, water anything, but I can't I need to sip my Gatorade. I have been chomping on ice to help, and I am enjoying that.

Were doing laundry now before we head home. This evening we are going to go down to Fremont experience. That is one thing Derrel loves. A LIGHT SHOW... So we are going down to old Vegas for a bit to watch the light show after dark. My hubby has been so good to me. He hated the feeling of not knowing how I was while I was in surgery. I remember that worrying about him. He has been great to me. I'm thankful for that. I am thankful for a lot. I've had a lot of phone calls, people caring, people helping with Jonathan it feels nice. Thankful for my mom and what she has given me. She is gone but still is taking care of me. I sure wish I could share this with my dad. I think, no I know he would be proud of me. I still wish and miss him so much. Not a day goes by I don't wish for him, some days are easier than others. When I had to write my packet to Dr. Rutledge about my life, story and such I wrote about my dad. That was hard for me, and sad for me. Ok I'm starting to tear up. I MISS YOU DAD, wish you were here to talk to, I would give anything to share my adult years and family with him. But I know he would want to know that once again Scott and Barb like always have stepped up for this family again, and that feels good too. OK now the make up I did put on today is gone.......

Anyway.... I know I will forget how I felt these days and the feeling I'm feeling. So that's my point to this blog.... Something to look back on, learn from.

I still want to go home! :)

Saturday....I think....

Today is Saturday.... I think.... the days are starting to run together now. I feel a bit better today, but still feels foggy in my head. I got up a 6am and was ready for a nap by 8am. I have not got sick at all anymore, and that feels good. My tummy muscles hurt enough already and that did not help at all. I just can't believe how drained I feel, and how tired I am. But my brother tells me it's normal at this point in the game.

We are going to get out of this room today for a bit to walk around some. That should help me sleep this evening better. Derrel told me he can tell I've lost weight already in my face. Well that's my blog for now... feeling tired so I'm going for a nap before we go out later for a walk.

Here in Vegas

I had surgery on Wed. Feb. 21. Dr. Rutledge said "I have a healthy liver, and he did a 7 foot bypass". I am happy for that. 6 feet is his average/topical bypass. He does not make a determination on ones bypass until he is looking in one's body. Anyway, surgery went well. I was very sick in recovery and that did last a couple of hours. The nurses at the hospital were wonderful and nice. They took good care of me. I ate only because I had too. We walked the halls a lot and kept me moving. I was very tired and felt run over, but able to walk the halls. Only eating a few sips of soup, little yogurt, and saltines and of course Gatorade. Not eating enough for my body with all the drugs I am getting. As soon as I am out of the hospital I can have no more meds... period! Dr. rules! I am using the pain pump, and sleeping a lot. I really have no pain, and the staples are more annoying than hurtful. I'm just beat and very tired. Sleeping a lot. When I got out of the hospital the next afternoon I stared feeling sick to my tummy. The nurse already took out my I.V, so she gave me a pill for my tummy rather that a shot. We got back to our hotel room about 5pm or so after getting lost in Vegas. I was very sick that first night out of the hospital in my hotel room. I have been dry heaving most of the night. I did use the pain pump in the hospital. As long as I used it I felt pretty good. I could find the strength to walk the halls over and over again. They took me off the pain pump the next morning and started giving me oxycodone. I really feel I was not eating anything (bite or two) and my body did fine while the drugs were given to me through an I.V. But as soon as they gave me a pill and I put it in my empty tummy… RALPH 5am was the last time I got sick. Kept taking Benadryl and the anti nausea pill Dr. R prescribes for us post-op. It finally worked..

Today is Friday-

I have not got sick since 5am this morning. Was a very rough night last night. Thought something was wrong and I worried. I was crying and sad. Kept telling Derrel I'm sorry. He has been taking really good care of me. The last two days I have been given lots of meds from the hospital. That last shot of meds they gave me yesterday really over did my body. I think it was the meds and no food combo made my body sick. It's 6pm here now, and I did get a shower today and feel a bit better this evening. I am so tired...

I have ate 2 crackers today and just now getting to some chicken broth down as Derrel is going to start nagging at me if I don't eat. I did this to feel better, and feel better is what I want from myself. Tomorrow we will try to get out and walk all I can feel like doing. I'm just so tired today. I can not believe how beat, and tired I am from surgery. I felt getting a shower and brushing my teeth was all I could do. I am able to sleep and rest alot. Derrel is taking wonderful care of me, and doing for me, helping me and loving me. I am walking here at the hotel just back and fourth here in the room. I know I need to walk, walk, walk so I'm trying really hard. Were here till Tuesday mid morning and I'm already wanting to go home.

Till later....

Phew...

Yup the Postal Service screwed up. We got the tracking number and it showed a delivery yesterday at 8am to our town. We called, she said "nope no mail here for you all". Called the post office back with the tracking number and sure enough they found it. Guess wear??? Behind the seat of the car. The boss personal brought the delivery in her personal car. But anyway there here.... So all is better.

Now we are ready to go.

Yeah!

Like I said WISH ME LUCK!

I will try to blog while we are gone. I have a notebook now. I just love it.

See ya!

Getting Ready

Started some packing today, as we have lots to do before we head to Las Vegas on Monday. Have a list a foot long, so I cleaned today and put clothes away and packed a bit. We are leaving Monday afternoon.

I found out today that Scott and Barb are going to be able to come to Vegas for 2 days! Scott is my brother and Barb is my sister in law. In the past 15 months they have had the MGB done by Dr. Rutledge. They have been so kind to talk to me and share there story and struggles with me. It has been nice to have someone to talk to to ask silly questions too. Anyway, they are coming up to the pre-op clinic they have the day before surgery. They will be speaking to us pre-op patients and sharing there story with us all. It will be so nice to be able to talk with them and visit. I am happy there are able to show and be there.

Eek I'm waiting on the bank to send me 3 cashiers checks for the Dr. and hospital. They were mailed on Tuesday and today is Thursday and they should of been here by now. I'm a little worried about that. Monday is a holiday and were leaving early... Jeez I hope the mail man shows with my overnight mail tomorrow or I'm screwed. Crossing my toes and fingers.

I'm off work for 2 weeks now. So I do have sometime to take care of me after my MGB.

All is good to go, well almost....still worried about that darn overnight mail that did not come... I'm sure they will show Friday.

WISH ME LUCK!

Scott and Barb visit with me @ the clinic the day before surgery. They got video taped and here is there story:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FA4wiqFEac
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uif0GUEOoU0

My Date has changed once again!

Ok, Sandy called today again and moved me once again. My surgery date is now again Wed. the 21st of Feb. No big deal. Just make time pass and my date get here! Ok, so it seems as of today I am having surgery on Feb. 21st. Yeah! No more changes they tell me. Does not matter if it is the 21st or the 22nd to me, all be in Vegas anyhow...

I am doing pretty good on the lack of coffee. I have cut "way" down this week. I'm hoping I don't spend the next month feeling like I am asleep. So rather than that I have cut way back.

I am going to Wal Mart today to pick up several things I will need pre-op and post-op. I need pepto bismo, citrucel, tums, milk of magnesia, COFFEE, oh sorry. he he Just several tummy meds for before and after I will need to have handy.

We don't plan on having much fun in Vegas. We got married there and wish we could go play and run around. But we are there for one reason, plus were broke.

Check back every week or so, I will post here whats going on and pictures at a later date.

Wish me luck!

2 weeks to go...

Well just about 2 weeks to go here. I am getting excited and ready for the changes in our life. Just working here and trying not to let my head drive me crazy. I'm still in think, think, think mode. I am doing pretty good with my coffee. Still cutting down and making my cups smaller and smaller. Still worried about the coffee or the lack of coffee I should say...
I put all my "big" coffee cups up and out of sight. I put them in my cabinet and brought out regular size cups. I did talk to Sandy with Dr. Rutledge's office, and my date has been changed till Thursday the 22nd. Seems they have to many beds taken so my day got pushed one day. Not big deal really, just one day. Guess well go to the movies or something. Hey maybe we can take our salad. He he That week before I am going to eat really light so my bypass will work the best for me. The bigger your intestines are the less of a bypass you might get I hear.

Well not to much else new here, just going to work and waiting for the 22nd.

Made a new friend...

Today I got a e-mail from another patient that is having surgery on the 21st also. It was nice to hear from someone else that will be there the same day as me. So maybe now I will have another person to share the same time line with and share story's. I wrote her back and hope to hear from her again.

Otherwise, Derrel and Jonathan just went for there first bike ride together since they both got new bikes not to long ago. Jonathan was very excited. I can wait till I go along soon and want to go with them. My "bum" will fit better then too and enjoy the ride way more. :)

Everything is in place, working on finances now. The trip is booked, and just counting now...

till later-

Think, Think, Think...

My surgery is the first thing I think of when I go to bed and when I wake up in the morning. I know this is going to be life changing, and that's why I think, think, think...

I can't even imagine myself at 160 or size anything else but 24/26. I've never been a "normal" size, not even once in my life. When I see pictures of other MGB patients, I can not even see myself at that size. I'm not scared today, but I still have 4 weeks before my surgery date. I am looking forward to the changes in my life, guess now it will seem like forever till Feb. 21. I am worried about the coffee, and not being part of my life any longer. Funny huh, not worried about the changes in my diet, just the coffee. I am each week cutting down on how much I pour myself so I won't get headaches from going cold turkey. I know in my heart this is the correct decision for me, and not once have a ever looked back or worried if I'm making the right choice. I am... Not to hurt when I walk, not to be taking pills to get through my job and the day will be worth all of it.
My son loves to walk. I won't be the one slowing us down or stopping us from walking because of my pain or my weight someday soon. My hubby and son have bought bikes a few months ago, I will buy mine when my "bum" fits on one, and I can't wait for that day!

I also wonder how my customers @ work will treat me different. When I do have a co-worker and if she is cute, I see how the customers treat her different. What will I tell them? Do I share my story with everyone that comes into my video store and asks me? Or do I keep it short and simple? I have spoke about it to some of my customers already. I work at a small video store and I love seeing my "regular" customers each day or week, and I have got close to a few of them, and them I am sharing my life with today. What do I share with all the others as I lose weight? I'm thinking on that too.

Wow.... A LOT TO THINK ABOUT!

Have a surgery date!

About 3 months ago I decided I was going to have weight loss surgery. I researched locally and talked to my doctor. I have decided that the MGB that is done by Dr. Robert Rutledge ( http://clos.net/) is the best surgery for myself. The MGB is a short, simple, successful and inexpensive laparoscopic gastric bypass weight loss surgery. The operation usually takes only 30 min., hospitalization less than 24 hours. It sounded perfect for me and the changes I need to grow old with my family and live in my body without pain. My brother and sister in law have been patients of Dr. Rutledge's in the past and have had great success. I remember when my sister in law Barb told me she was having the MGB, I cried. Not for her, but for myself. She found the strength to follow through what she needed to do for her self. She was taking a stand and following it with courage. "I wish I had her courage"! A year plus later I am and have found the courage to go forward with the changes in my life I need. I read and read. Learned more each day from the web site and the "manual" they direct you to download and print. In October of 2006 I started working on this intense packet Dr. Rutledge makes you learn and pre-pair. The packet took me almost 4 months to pre-pair to mail off to the CLOS and Dr. Rutledge. It was so long and hard at times, but worth every hour I put into it. And believe me I put many hours into my "packet". I was very proud of my story, my family letter, my studies, the whole packet was hard work and made me proud when I mailed it.

I have a surgery date of Feburary 21, 2007. I can't wait for that week and the changes that are going to face me in my future. I have always been "heavy", I've never known anything different. I'm 39 now and I'm scared for how my body will feel @ 49. I want to enjoy my life, not take pills to get through my day. My parents both died in there 50, and I don't want to be sick or even in heaven in my 50's if I don't have to be. At this weight I as asking for many illnesses in my future or even a early death.

Anyway, at this point I'm ready for the changes. I expect to be happy, mad, angry, sad. I'm not scared at all. I have a great husband that loves me for me. I know I can share my feeling and thoughts with him anytime. I am lucky to have him in my life!