Little white lies...

When I started this journey I was not sure how I would find myself talking about my weight loss when people asked me. I found as time passed I was open to share with people that asked. Sometimes the story was short and sweet and other times I found people really wanted to know "my truth". Losing 150 pounds you find you sound silly if you tell people anything but the truth. Time is passing, I'm seeing less and less folks that knew me as the really fat Susy. Except when you pull out the old drivers licence. My licence says' I weighed 190. LOL- I wished! 290 was the real number it should of said. I pulled out the driver licence the other day and the girl says' "boy you sure have lost a lot of weight". And then the dreaded next question??? How much did you lose and how???? For the first time I told a fib. I am tired of explaining my journey in a 20 second conversation so I said "I've lost 90 pounds and I eat way different now", and then I ran out the door. I knew if I said I had lost 150ish pounds I would have to explain. So I blurted out 90 pounds so I didn't have to explain. I'm starting to forget and feel more normal in my own skin now (as saggy as it is- LOL). I still catch myself in a reflection sometimes and wonder who the hell that girl is staring back at me. I will never allow myself to forget how it felt to live life in a obese body, but the pain from all those years is fading as time passes. Just felt easier to blurt something out and run like hell. :) Still felt wrong...i don't like to lie (even if it's a white lie) But sometimes you just don't feel like explaining it again and again.

On another note: My garden is planted and wonderful! It feels great to WANT to move. I mean I want to be out side, I want to move, I want to get something done and it feels grrreattt! My husband sells cedar planter benches at the farmers markets for us. I've never got one. He builds them and of course sells them but has never made me one of my own yet. I got 2 this week! Thanks hunny! (he reads my blog) So I have 3 huge planters with 2 benches in a U shape on my deck. I filled 6-7 planter boxes, a couple of others I bought with dirt for planting veggies in. I had to go out to the greenhouses and fill buckets with old dirt as the planters are huge, then I topped them off with miracle grow soil. So he made me recycle for the dirt I needed to fill the huge planters. I planted 2 tomato's plants, carrots, radishes, lettuce, onions, garlic, strawberry's, & peas. This is my first garden and I love it! I will get some flowers soon and then I will take a picture of my new re-done, cleaned up garden deck. I got the weeds pulled around the sides of the house too. Today I kind of feel like I got ran over by a carrot. he he Just means I can tell I was lifting, kneeling, planting, pulling and moving.

I can not express how much my life has changed since losing 150 pounds. I often think to myself "I wish I would of done this years ago". But I don't really think that way. I needed to understand and learn what I've learned to get to the place I'm at today. I know that. I'm just thankful I'm here today!

Cleaning house today some and then picking my son up from school so we can go birthday shopping for dad. It's Derrel's 50 birthday on Friday! Yahoo! It's all good except the fact that health insurance goes up another $150 a month and goes to 1400+ a month for the fam. What a birthday gift huh...We have got to do something in this country about health care. The cost of health insurance is driving my family to the poor house. But what is the other option-to be without???? Then we will be broke and bankrupt. (I'm just glad I'm not 278.01 anymore, I would of been finding myself at that dr more and more getting fatter and heavier.) -Tiff taught me some insurance lingo-stands for morbidly obese with insurance company's.
So were broke but have health insurance today. Sad!

that my week so far- been a bz bz beaver.

LATER GATORS...

HAPPY EARTH DAY! How are you helping the earth today? I'm going to Dutch Bros. coffee and taking my own mug and for doing so I get a drink for a buck! Now that's one I can afford. Coffee for a buck! Sweet!