I found myself the other day at the grocery store and in the back ground they were playing Christmas music. I just felt like skipping through the isles. It was silly but I feel happy, thankful and I can't even put it in to words. I was on my way to Starbucks to have a blended green tea so that could of been why I was so happy. he he Anyway, were more broke now that we ever have been, I'm not working, and this Christmas were not buying shit we don't need. And even as broke as we are I feel so full of joy some days and sometimes. I'm not stared at anymore, I don't feel looked down on, I'm not in pain. My life is so different and it's freeing in a way. Guess that's why sometimes I get this panicky feeling when thinking about gaining weight back. I can't go back, I can't let myself down. This has lifted something big off my shoulders, more than I ever understood. I can never forget what it was like for me when I was obese.
I am finding things for us to do this season that don't cost us a lot of money but together as a family we can make some memories. This Saturday evening were going back to the local aquarium for there festival of lights. The cost? 2 cans of food each. Well take a long ride in the car looking at lights one night. It's the little things...I have to show Jonathan that we can still have a great holiday without all the things that stress me out anyway. Finding the extra money each year stresses me out. I'm not letting it this year.
So I don't care if were broke- My life today is nothing I've ever felt. I didn't realize how much my weight really got in my way of living but I'm understanding it today. So I'm spending this holiday season with a smile.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS
7 comments:
Wow, I want to read more of your blog! This was such a energizing post.
Funny question...but I can't figure out how to subscribe?
Hey Susy! WOW, you have captured what I have been feeling for weeks! How can we enjoy the season while being broke? thanks for bringing things back into perspective.
Someone recently suggeted the following book: The Hundred Dollar Holiday, written by Bill Mckibben. Google it and read some of the stuff he writes. It really makes sense.
Well, I'm off to work...today I get to teach Mental Health workers about Verbal Desculation! Sounds like fun!
Have a great day!
Sweetest post ever! I ♥ you for being you.
Signgurl- Susy thinks your pretty special too! You insire me everyday and I'm glad were blogger friends!
Cmay- you can follow the blog from my page at the top under followers or you can subscribe under RSS and my button for that is on the top right by my tool bars. And thanks for the great comment!
Scott- I will google that book today. I'm just so tired of letting money over shine what Christmas is really all about. This year I don't feel like that. Something for sure has changed. :)
Thanks for the invite to see your blog Susy. You are so correct, its time to be so thankful for so much that we have. Keep things in the right perspective. I am truly blessed to have you as a friend. Hugsss Love Penny
First - I'm sorry that I haven't been good about keeping up on blogs. Second, I love, love, love this entry. This season isn't about money, it's about the holiday spirit - which you clearly had. Thanks for reminding us why life is so good on the other side of surgery, and what the season is all about! :)
The reason for the season....is definitely not the gifts...it is the memories we make!
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