Pictures

Just to make sure this is really happening to me, I took a few pictures today. :) he he No really, this is one of my new shirts I just bought. Just sharing.

size 4 Levi
small shirt
weight 145.2
total loss- 148.8

1 year, 7 months ago...

Friends are treasures!

I had lunch today with a friend. It's nice just having girl time. I don't have many friends but the one's I do have I treasure. We spent the afternoon getting to know each other better. Didn't talk about work, just about our family's, life and each other. You know sometimes it's just nice knowing your not alone in your feelings- good or bad. When we parted today I had a smile and new I had meet a REAL friend.

And good friends are hard to find. :)

Otherwise... I'm am feeling better at last. Still in the mornings and through out my day I hack up crap and blow up more crap but at least it's coming loose now and coming up. I feel so congested still. I told my husband I have plenty of moisture, please don't water me for a few months. I finally broke down and took some Mucinex and boy that cleared me up but didn't last.

I got a new web cam and have thought about making a video for you all. But I feel so stupid talking to the cam on the computer. LOL But maybe I'll give it a try soon.

till later. have a good evening all!

I WANT TO FEEL BETTER

Holly snot Batman....

It's been a long week here sitting on my couch. I haven't played on the computer, I have not gone any where, called in sick to work on Saturday, I've done nothing this week. And I still feel like poo. I've been home since Wednesday. My head is so congested and foggy. I can't even concentrate on the computer and I shouldn't be driving. Went to town yesterday because I HAD too. My hubby did the farmers market like we do each week and our son locked the keys inside the truck. So I headed in at 1pm to take Derrel a extra key, get a pizza, a movie and head right back home. When driving yesterday I knew I was second guessing myself while backing up and realized I probably should not be driving. Still to fuzzy. Came home and we had some pizza, took a nap (again). When I woke up I made my self a orange protein drink. It has ice, one scoop of orange cream protein, orange yogurt and some OJ and then I blend it. Mm So there was 3 big cookies on the counter. I asked Derrel if he wanted to share one with me. So we did. To end my shitty day I spent the rest of the night on the floor on the bathroom in front of the toilet. Must of been the combo of the cookie and the OJ I'd say. I could of done one but I'm guessing not both. I only had 4-5 bites of a cookie. Jeez So I'm laying on the bathroom floor with the door shut as it's no fun to puke in front of anyone. My dog Rufus sees me from under the door and starts barking and crying. He knew mommy didn't belong on the floor. It was cute, but sad for me. So I ended the night with a good cry on my hubby's shoulder and went to bed!

I was down to 144.0 this morning (a new worlds record for myself). But thinking it's from being so sick. That's the only good thing that happened to me this week.

Take care of you! Till later...

Sicky Poo

Blah... I must say... having a cold after WLS kind of stinks. My Dr. has suggested that for the rest of your life after surgery you should not take cold med, aspirin, Tylenol, NOTHING. Chicken soup is his answer for a cold now that your post-op in his view. These concerns come from the threat of getting ulcers in the gut. If you must take something, take liquid medicine as then it won't sit in your gut and burn a hole in it slowly. This is my first bad cold since surgery. Anyway, I am trying very hard to not take anything while getting through this miserable cold I came down with. Which in my world this really stinks right now. I also want ice cream or something to make me "feel better". You know that comfort food that tastes good and makes it some what better while your sniffing, coughing, sneezing and can't rest. Mine was ice cream or some thing sweet. Now feeling like shit already if I were to sit down and have my comfort food it would make me hurl from all the sugar.

So needless to say I feel like shit......No cold medicine or ice cream. :(

Just had to whine a bit.

Sickly Susy

Dr Rutledge talks about Sugar

This is my surgeon talking about sugar vs. artificial sweetner. Always something new to learn. I for one use artificial sweetener. Everything I buy is sugar free. Thinking I need to re look at some things in my life.

What's up...

What's up? Not too much. Busy weekend...long weekend...stressful weekend...long story... All is well here with my family this week. Much less stress here at our house but Derrel's mom's house is a whole different story. Jonathan is still grounded to his room but over all things are well here. He is such a fine young man when he is grounded. I don't get it. I'm thinking we should ground him through high school. What do you think? LOL I'm thinking it might be the only way we survive. :)

I've had two people tell me the past two days I've lost enough weight and I'm getting too skinny. Jeez I'm thinking there just not used to seeing me thin. But I'm kind of tired of hearing that all the same. No one ever told me when I was getting to fat. I saw a old friend at the farmers market last Saturday. I used to lift weights with him and his friends and mine. We all used to lift at the same time so we would all pushed each other. I was the big girl lifting a lot of weight. He came up to me and complimented me and couldn't believe how much weight I've lost. And these words came out of MY MOUTH..."I do look good huh". He agreed, but the big deal to me was the words I heard come out of my mouth. I LOOK GOOD...I've never said that before, not in my whole life, not once. Strange...but good strange.

I went back to the pool today. Yup- it felt great. I can sure tell I've done physical therapy because I do have a lot more range of motion then even 2 months ago. I'm back to swimming 3 days a week now and very happy I went today. I do love the water. When I leave I really feel like I just did something for me. I just took care of myself and it feels great. Not always easy getting out of bed and going in early but when I do go I feel good about myself and what I just did.

After swimming we went to the city for tractor parts for our Kubota tractor. On the way home we stopped at TJ Maxx. It's new to Corvallis. I spotted it a few months ago and wanted to go check it out. Why didn't anyone tell me about what a cool store this is? I need to know these things. LOL What a fun store. I had no trouble dropping money. I tried on pants. They were in size 29 and 30. Not knowing what size I wear when there sized like that I tried on the 29's and the 3o's (normally sized 4, 6, 8 and so on). Too big. I bought a pair of 26 which were in the size 4 rack and they fit pretty good. Wow za Still amazing to this day to me how I could fit into these clothes. I now have trouble finding clothes small enough. That's ass backwards...Anyway I came out of there with 3 really cool shirts and a pair of jeans and I WILL go back to that store. Very cool clothes and great clearance racks. I will take a full length shot of me soon for you all with my new clothes.

I took two silly pictures of me and Chihuahua Rufus on the road today. Just showing him off!

Rufus and I cruisin...

Saturday Night Live

Last night was the season premiere of SNL. I love this show! Last night Tina Fey and Amy Poehler did a very funny skit of Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton.

Want to laugh- check it out! :)

Rides...

Derrel and I love to take rides. To the city, in the forest, along the ocean. The rides in the forests here in Oregon are our favorites. The forest service maintains these back roads in the forest. There are miles and miles of forest service roads here. We love to get lost in the back roads and find new roads or maybe a new back road to the highway. My car has seen more gravel then pavement sometimes. We did a ride this afternoon before school got out. It's so peaceful and after this week I needed some peace. I took these photos with my cell phone today and just thought I'd share. This is my hubby Derrel (my love, my friend, my forever) and my doggie RUFUS. We stopped and put a blanket out and layed in the sun for a bit today. Aw PeAcE!

No one ever said life was easy.

To make a LONG story short-

A lot going on with my family and my son of age 15 this week. Been a hard couple of weeks. We had to punish our son Jon to his room for a month for something I'd rather not talk about here. It was serious, very serious. So he is taking his punishment and spending each day in his room until the top of October. Which really sucks cause we miss him in our living room. But you do the crime, you do the time. Now as that wasn't stressful enough...School has started and there is this run this week from my home town to the California border with his whole class/school. No cost and anyone that wanted to race/walk/jog could go along. It's a big celebration as they enter each town until they get to California. We decided not to let him go. The rule was to be at home in his room. He's lost it all except the walls in his room. We tossed it around, talked about it and decided this needed to "hurt" and this is something we have to stand behind. It was so hard standing behind the rules we set. It hurt me as bad as it hurt him. Jonathan loves to run and jog so this was a big deal to him. He pleaded, he begged, cried and pleaded again and again to let him go on this trip with his class. Everyone in the class was going but one girl. It was a 4 day trip. It was so sad to not let him go and be apart of all of it. It broke my heart but we had to stand behind the punishment. Being a parent is so so hard some times. I wanted to cave so many times. You love your kids and want them happy but a point needed to be made in this instance and it was heart breaking.

That's my short story for the week and the reason for all my sad notes on Twitter this week. I felt like crying all week. I didn't want to come out and play, I just felt sad. We did the right thing but it sure is hard.

P.S. Thanks Lisa for checking on me! Much appreciated. Thanks for being a friend!

a funny!

My bypass tells me what I must eat now. But this made me think of me and my hubby. :) I'm always trying to get him to make better choices and force feed salad to him. But just cause I luv him!

I can't believe it's me...

Well puking this week and blogging about it got me a few comments. I know I am not alone in this journey and sharing always helps. It's nice knowing your not all alone in the world and others struggle too. This blog is going to keep me accountable with my actions and my words. This is going to be a life long fight and with the help of many I am going to win this fight. Whether it's from me being honest, blogging, comments, family, friends, friends sharing recipes or a stiff kick in the cyber ass I want to be healthy in this body for many years. My hubby told me this week that "it's all up to me and my actions". I had to honestly tell him "that's what scares me the most hunny". I'm the one in control all along and look where it got me. By not trapping in my feelings good or bad I am trying to change and face my fears. As we speak my son is eating a pop tart for a after school snack......RaLpH, blah earlier in this week curred me from having pop tarts for sometime. It's not that I could not have a bit of something sweet or have that pop tart, it's the fact that I went back into the kitchen for that brownie. Big no no... I knew better, I was eating something I didn't need.

I got a couple of new pictures in mail this week. One is from when we bought our new car from the dealership. I remember being tired and thinking "boy this picture is going to suck". All day at a car lot will do that to you. Anyway, my first thought after seeing it was look how small I am. he he I'm smaller than my husband. (that's a first) I can't believe that's me in the picture. None of this has sunk in yet some days. I need to relax and enjoy my size 6 jeans and let it all sink in. Cause I can't believe it myself and I'm living it. The other photo is from my aunt Loretta's camera from when we visited her in Seattle.

1 year, 6 months, 12 days later. I weigh what I've lost! (i love saying that) For the past 3 months I have maintained my weight. And I'm watching everyday to keep a check on my weight. I'm bouncing around 146 to 149. I got more out of this surgery that I could ever imagine.

*start weight 294
*weight today 148.0
-146 pounds No wonder I don't recognize myself! :)
*size 24 to size 6 pant.
*size 1x to size M and small shirts.

-14 in. off my chest
-19 in. belly button area
-21 in. off my hips

Keep it honest!

Reminders

Every once in awhile I need to be reminded why I had my inside rearranged and had gastric bypass. Because I'm addicted to food. I can no longer indulge in the foods I once did. But yesterday I did try. Guess I was bored, tired, lazy, I don't know. I gave in and ate a 1/2 of a pop tart and a brownie in a half hour setting. YuP you guessed it- the sugar hit me like a ton of bricks. I got shaky, sweaty, breathing heavy and I just headed to the bath room and threw up. Even though we know better sometimes the addiction still wins and then you are reminded what you just did in a yucky way. And yesterday was one of those days for me. It reminded me why I HAD to do this. I was not in control. I was lost and stuck in a deadly pattern. My surgery now controls me, reminds me and is a great thing for myself. I needed surgery to help control my patterns. I have been reminded that I can not eat like that anymore. Sugar is the last thing on my mind now and that will last for some time because you remember hugging the porcelain god- and I hate hugging the toilet.

Like I've said before "I'm still learning, and learning to love myself". Learning to do what is right and take that with me forever. Learning to be strong and good to myself.

so with that said... HI my name is Susy and I am addicted to food!