Every once in awhile I need to be reminded why I had my inside rearranged and had gastric bypass. Because I'm addicted to food. I can no longer indulge in the foods I once did. But yesterday I did try. Guess I was bored, tired, lazy, I don't know. I gave in and ate a 1/2 of a pop tart and a brownie in a half hour setting. YuP you guessed it- the sugar hit me like a ton of bricks. I got shaky, sweaty, breathing heavy and I just headed to the bath room and threw up. Even though we know better sometimes the addiction still wins and then you are reminded what you just did in a yucky way. And yesterday was one of those days for me. It reminded me why I HAD to do this. I was not in control. I was lost and stuck in a deadly pattern. My surgery now controls me, reminds me and is a great thing for myself. I needed surgery to help control my patterns. I have been reminded that I can not eat like that anymore. Sugar is the last thing on my mind now and that will last for some time because you remember hugging the porcelain god- and I hate hugging the toilet.Like I've said before "I'm still learning, and learning to love myself". Learning to do what is right and take that with me forever. Learning to be strong and good to myself.
so with that said... HI my name is Susy and I am addicted to food!
3 comments:
It's so reassuring to see other people struggling with the same thing I do. Sometimes when I read peoples blogs I feel like eventhough I've lost the weight I'm still a failure because of my eating. Nice to see others give in and that I'm not all alone in that struggle. It is such a battle to make the right food choices.
I think it is good to get that feeling when you try to eat out of the ordinary. It's a great reminder!
Oh geesh, that's so gonna be me! I love food, and I hate telling myself no, you can't have that at all! Sugar's not that big of a deal, it's gonna be potatoes for me. I thought bread was gonna be easier than it has been, but I'm okay now. They told me the occasional slice of toasted whole wheat is fine! Woot woot! A ray of light in a sea of things that I can't have! Only 11 more days now! I can't wait! I start my 10 day pre-op diet tomorrow! YAY!
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