So do people treat you different since you have lost the weight? How about your friends and family? I have a pretty small circle of friends and family. Most of my family has passed away and friends are hard to find. I'm am lucky to have one best friend that I can trust with anything. For the other people in my life, well lets just say some relationships have changed. Some still treat me the same, some give me great support, some people avoid me and other have said borderline "rude" comments. It's kind of hard to explain. I feel like the same person inside where it counts even though I know I am different now in some parts of my life. I have a few that treat me just like "Susy". I'm no different and those relationships are the same. For that I am grateful. Those few are my true friends and except me for me no matter what. Others have stopped calling, stopped talking to me, stopped supporting me and have just slipped away into there big important world. I wonder why??? I mean there is a lot more to me than my weight and I for one would love to share my life and family with them but... they don't. Others have made comments. Maybe not meaning to be rude, but the words were not supportive and felt rude. I've blogged on some of those comments in past blogs. The other day someone again asked me if I was tired of being "crack skinny yet"? WTF Well since that was the second time I've heard that from that family I responded with the F word. "F*** NO I'm not tired of being "healthy" and I'm never going back"! "It's up to me now and I'm not going back". They looked at me kind of crazy because I cussed and Derrel's mommy was standing close by.... Don't care- if your going to ask me like that- I'm going to give you back a answer you deserve! So after all that went down he asked me a few questions. Thinking he is fat too so maybe he really wants to know the truth- I answered. I'm guessing they are interested in how, what, why questions about having WLS. He just asked me about how much food I eat and if I'll get fat again? Lordy-! I explained a few foods I eat and how much. The foods that go into my mouth are still my choice. We talked about the stretching of the stomach. I explained the differences between the RNY and the MGB I had and why I chose the MGB over the RNY. blah blah blah Then I went home once again wondering- what the fuck? As for the relationship between my husband and myself it has only grown in the last 2 years. I trust Derrel and I will grow old together through our ups and Downs life will bring us. He loves that I feel better about myself. He see's a lot of little changes that make me happier, which in fact has made us stronger and me happier. My son Jonathan does not even see it until he see's a old picture of his mom. Kids love you unconditionally! I'm still just MOM. LOL
So from all this I have learned some treat you the same, some can't handle being your friend anymore, some sabotage and other just avoid you for what ever reason. It make you wonder what you did wrong or why sometimes? But this is where you find out who is your real friend and who really cares about you everyday, not just part time.
What's your thoughts??????
4 comments:
Just stay true to yourself and be happy for those that you do have in your life that don't make a big deal about your physical change. I don't have many friends and here in MO nobody knew me before surgery, so I'm guessing it's just assumed I've always been small. My family doesn't say much anymore, it's old news, which I'm greatful for. I know how fat I was, I don't need to be reminded by my family talking about it. My kids are the same way. Jacob is clueless that I was ever fat unless he sees a picture then it triggers that memory of what mom "use" to look like. This will make you laugh though, I had a tank on the other day and Athena came up and was pushing the flab on my arms and said "Mommy, look it's like a swing"....Thanks Athena!! LOL
WOW, Amber, I can relate to the "swing" arm flab! HA!
On another note, Susy, I think that people will alwyas have silly questions either becuase they are truly naive, or they are stupid. Either way, take it with a grain of salt and act like a duck...let it bounce of your feathers. Don't let it bother you. You chose to make yourself healthier, you chose to be skinnier. It truly should not be anyone else's business but your own. I find that I am being told I look great at this point. Others might say that I have become grumpy, but that is because they are making me grumpy, that's all, it has nothing to do with losing the weight. I am still me. I don't even see the weight loss yet, so I am still me.
Ain't the swinging arm thing grand! LOL That was a great story Amber. :)
No stress most of the time here girls...just something to blog about and talk about. But some peoples kids......I don't get them????? I like the feather quote Lisa.
Thanks for the support friends.
What the fuck is up with people acting like this? (Sorry, you just made me want to swear so bad... ha ha)
Seriously, though... As on most topics, I can completely relate to you. This past weekend, my husband and I met up a friend that I had not seen in over 5 years. As she hugged me, she said "What? You're all bones now? I don't even know who you are" We only stayed at the gathering for about an hour - but the entire time, I watched her face each time she looked at me..... Completely judgemental - I could see it all over her face.
F those people!!!!
Post a Comment