A New Year

When I reflect on this past year I feel good about my life changes. I can not put into words how much better my body feels at 180 pounds rather than at 300 pounds. I never understood how tired my body really was until I lost 100+ pounds and could feel the difference for myself. As I aged my weight affected me and my body more and more. I mean I knew I was tired and didn't like the way my body was feeling, but...WOW
I still today find myself avoiding doing things. Like getting on the floor and climbing ladders and such. I've always avoided things like that for years, so it's natural to me these days to think like that, it's never been any different for me. I got down on the floor the other day at work to fix the stereo. I hesitated and thought to myself "I'll get down, but have a hell of a time getting up off the floor". It's not like that anymore. My knees didn't hurt while I was down there and it was no trouble at all to get up. Things like that amaze me to this day. For me my whole life the little things that most people don't think about has been hard for me. I didn't think twice about it- It was just normal not to be able to do it for me. Does that make sense? I am most grateful for the little things that are happening in my life. Little to some, but big deals to me. Things I've tried to avoid my whole life, things that were once hard that are simple now. Easy to some, used to be a challenge for me are the things I'm noticing and loving the most post-op. I still have a ways to go, but I notice a big difference. Not only does my body feel better and the pain my body was feeling is better too, but I feel better about myself. Every time I put on a new smaller size I can't believe this is happening to me. I had a hard time right after surgery being patient and trusting with losing weight. I feel more settled these days and not so anxious. I am 10 months post op right now and have lost 111 pounds and wearing size 12 pants. If I were to never lose another pound I would be happy at what I have accomplished thus far. I feel that much better. I don't believe my body is done losing weight or I can't work it by eating healthy and exercise. I am just saying I feel lucky and grateful to have lost what I have. I have had a successful surgery and successful months post op thus far. For me in the past 10 months I have had very little trouble with foods and my surgery. I don't drink milk anymore because I made me sick 2 times so I just switched to soy milk. I don't eat a lot of bread anymore cause it makes me feel to full. I can't tolerate sugar to much. I can have a cookie or three but if I eat more I feel and pay the effects and just don't feel good. To much crap/sugar makes me feel icky and tired and just plain yucky. It has made me dump (head for the bathroom). Not bad as I have not really never overate or binged on tongs of sugar, but I have regretted eating a few times. My blood work at 9 months came back good. My cholesterol is normal now and my blood pressure is fine too. So for me the past 10+ months have been enlightening and amazing. I really believe my MGB has been a surgically enhanced behavior modification and a great tool that I needed in my life for many reasons. I believe if I follow the rules and take care of me I will live a healthy and happy life. I do not ever want to forget what it was like to feel and be obese along with the struggles that come along with it. I write and share this to just remember and think about my past and my future.