Burr it's cold outside...

Jeez it's been cold here the past few days. Might snow tomorrow, and then Sunday night there is a windy storm coming into Oregon. I hear the winds here might be 75mph. Better buckle down.

I went swimming 2 times this week. I had Thursday and Friday off, so I went those 2 mornings at 8am. My water aerobics teacher went to a class herself a few weeks back and has learned some new fun things. I was thinking that the pool was getting to easy and feeling like the same Ol same Ol each class. But then she went to that class and is now pushing us even harder. Reminding us to think about our posture and alignment. She has added jumping out of the water in intervals to our routine. Today we balanced on our weights and played catch in the water with a ball. You had to stay balanced on your weights that were under your legs and jump and throw the ball while staying balanced. Was hard to stay balanced without falling off your weights and you could only use your arms to get to the ball or keep it from someone. It was fun and you didn't think of it as exercise or boring at all. Different and fun, and I do notice that my arms today are feeling it already.

18 more pounds till I will be at 169. I had to set some sort of goal to reach. I thought that one was reachable 9 months ago, so I set that goal in Feb. 2007. No time limit, just sounded like a healthy weight for me with a height of 5'7. And I believe it is reachable, and I'll make a new one from that point. That's just my first goal.

Our son is turning 14 this weekend. We will be having a house full of BOYS this weekend. Lord help me... They will all be home in about 3 hours. There planning staying up all night, games, blockbuster, movies, pizza, popcorn, going to see a movie tomorrow (sat.), candy, and on Sat. watching the civil war football game that is on here in Oregon. The civil war game is between the Ducks (University of Oregon) and the Beavers (Oregon State University). Big deal here in Oregon. GO BEAVERS! Everybody is either wearing orange or green in this state this weekend, it's everywhere. So please wish me luck with a house full of boys all weekend. Think I'll be hiding in my room. LOL :)

Inventory blog...

Just a short blog about my job and more TA DA moments I'm feeling. It was once again time for inventory @ work. It's where we run around the store and count everything 3 times. It's hard work and I'm glad it's over for 3 more months. Why I am writing this blog??? Inventory used to kick my butt. I could hardly walk after a inventory, and was in pain. I used to take several pain relievers to get through inventory. After the end of the day I also could hardly walk from my car without a lot of pain after that shift. Let's just say it kicked my butt. Well I just got done and home from working 1am to 8am non stop running around my store scanning and counting. I can not believe how much better I feel with only 9 months under my belt (surgery) and minus 104 pounds. I'm tired from being up all night but NOTHING like when I weighed 300 pounds. Amazing, truly amazing. The pain I don't feel is worth anything I have to sacrifice for the rest of my life. Pain was one big reason for my decision to have WLS. I was really scared to think if my body hurts like this at 39, how am I going to feel at 50? I would of got heavier and heavier from lack of wanting to move and I knew what my future held. Pain, medical problems, sadness, depression, lack of self worth along with many other ailments. Today I also took a break on the counter. So I lifted myself on to the counter and didn't have to struggle to get up there to sit. Little again to some, but BIG to me once again. My head still tells me I can get myself up onto the counter to sit my butt down, but I can without struggling now, I just popped up there. You don't think about it when your heavy and it's a NORMAL act for you each day. But when you lose the weight you realize how hard it really was for you then. Now I understand how tired my body really was.

Anyway, NO REGRETS for me ever again in my life. I'm happy for the way my body is feeling. I'm will never forget what I'm learning through this journey and how it was for me for many years.

Pictures to share...

Took one picture yesterday in my new Levi 505's and my favorite new shirt. I'm wearing size 14's and weighed 187.5 yesterday. Minus 104 pounds so far. The other picture is from 1995. Probably one of my heaviest points in my life. But I've always been a big girl. I was size 28/30 there and close to 350 pounds.

Thankful

There is a lot in the past few months that have changed for me. It's the little things that are most amazing to me. Things like getting up in the bath tub without getting on my knees, just stand straight up. I can get into my husbands truck now without the stepping stool. Just feeling better through out my day. Have energy to take care of my mom without suffering myself. At this point in my life I try something I couldn't do in the past and I can do it. Something happens each day that amazes the shit out of me. It may be small to some, but BIG to me.

Went to Goodwill again today as I'm losing my pants at work again. I was able to find 2 pair of tan pants to wear at work. Almost all the 14's I tried on were to big. Holly smokes. I would of never thought I would fit into anything less than a 18. Even buying work clothes is fun. So when we got home I went into my dresser and took out those pair of Levi 505 jeans I bought back in October. I bought them so I could have something to grow into and look at. They fit on my butt in October but were way to tight to wear, as everything hung out because they were to tight. They fit great! AMAZING

Thanksgiving eating went well. I had just a little bit of the things I wanted. Ham, stuffing, sweet carrots, salad and a piece of a roll. Didn't eat to much and I felt good about what and how much I ate. I did have some peanut butter Reese's cup pie after dinner, just a bit as the sugar worried me a bit. Just 4-5 bites of pie and I was satisfied. Was yummy...

I weigh in tomorrow and will post what I lost for the month of November. I will take some pictures soon with some of my new clothes I got in California and my new hair that I just love. I even got passed down some clothes from Barb and I love those too. I got so many I'm not sure which one's I love the most.

Feeling good about me for the first time in my life! What a great feeling! So it's the little things that I am thankful for and greatful to be having in my life, some for the first time in my life.

Happy Thanksgiving...

What people think?

I'm back to work now for a couple of days, with a new hair cut. I'm getting lots of comments about my weight loss all of a sudden. LOL Change the hair and they notice even more. Most people some say nothing, some people like it, or I even had one lady say she didn't like it. Funny what people's reactions have been and watching people look at me. I feel kind of like I'm under a microscope a bit. Oh get this: my boss has not so much as said a word to me about my hair. Like it's not even different. I haven't blogged about my boss much, but she is heavy and really is not happy for me, she is just sad for her. She never says anything to me about my weight loss and now nothing about my hair. Strange how people/friends/coworkers can not like you because of a choice I made in my life. It's just really obvious she not happy for me, she just annoyed with me instead. So once again I'm answering lots of questions at work because I work in retail with lots of repeat customers. I do get tired of sharing my story to EVERYONE some days. I feel the same inside, it's the outside that is changing. I can not find myself to not tell people that I've had WLS surgery this past February. I still feel like I'm lieing somehow when people ask what I've done to lose weight. And believe me that's usually the first thing they ask is how your doing it? I do say exercise, diet (eating less), and I had gastric bypass to most people. Maybe I should just lie. I don't know. Now it's out there and I'm not hiding anything. I try to let people know it's a tool. I could fill my tummy with shit foods, but I do eat like I'm on a diet these days for the most part. Good foods just make me feel better overall. I just get full fast. That part is great. You can have some, and you fill fast. I don't have trouble talking about it at all, don't get me wrong. It's just a lot some days. But the hair changing and peoples reaction is kind of humorous.

20 more pounds to go until I get to my goal of 169. That still amazes me!

Happy Turkey Day blogger friends! Even for you in Canada. I know it's not your Thanksgiving but happy day any way. I know I'm not worried if all over eat this year. LOL :)

There's no place like home...

I'm back home now. That was a tough week. To watch my mom hurt was very hard. Each day will be better for mom, but it's going to be a long road. She is full of pride and has a hard time asking for help. She didn't have to ask me, I just did it for her. If her hands felt dry, she needed a bath, water, ice, meds anything I just did it. When I had to leave her last night at her home I cried so hard. I know if I'm there she will be taken care of, and I am worried about the next few weeks for her. I have to go back to work, but we are going down there on Thursday and Friday of this next week. I'm very tired, but I'm happy to be home. My brother and sister in law must be so fried as they were doing this several days before I got to L.A. We pulled together as a family and that felt really good. We all just pulled together and did whatever needed to be done for our sweet mom. Now that's family!

I'm going to try not to make this blog a story book, but I've got a few things to blog about...

I weighed in this morning after being gone a week. I lost 3 pounds this week. I am officially at 100 pounds lost since surgery! I want to jump up and down. I weighed 191.0 this morning. WOO-HOO.

While in California on Thursday Barb ( http://barbswls.blogspot.com/ ) and I went to the mall and went shopping. That was a blast! We went into the skinny girl stores and shopped for about 2 hours. We went into Nordtroms just to peak and look at the stuff we could not afford. She told me about these jeans called Not Your Daughters Jeans @ Nordtroms. (http://shop.nordstrom.com/C/6002614/0~2376776~2374325~6002614?origin=6003488_Select+a+Brand6003488)
There wonderful jeans that have a bit of extra stuff in them to help hold your tummy and butt in. I fit into a size 8! When I put them on both me and Barb jumped up and down like little girls. I was so excited, and she was excited for me. I got spoiled by Barb as she bought several new items of clothes. I spent money too so I got a lot of very cool new clothes. She even found time to go through her closet and give me some of her old clothes as she is now size small. She looks great. Thanks Barb for spoiling me! I got new shirts in large and mediums, shoes, 2 new pair of pants. Do you think I could leave Nordstroms without those jeans that were size 8. Heck no! I bought one pair and Barb and Scott bought me a pair. They are spendy jeans, but I love them and they say size 8 and I also got a size 10 too.

So that is my week.... Glad to be home, but worried about mom at the same time. I will be going back to her house to make sure things get done for her.

Out of my box...

When I came in to Burbank CA airport on Sunday to help my family with mom, my brother said to me right away "I know someone who cuts hair in Beverly Hills that is great and does wonderful haircuts". I've had the same feathered back hair since I was 10 or so. It's got longer and shorter through out the years but has remained feathered back since the 70's. WOW So he planted the seed and I thought about it for a few days. Wednesday I told mom I was going to ask him to call for me and see if I could get in by chance before we come home on Friday. Sure enough because of the writers strike here in LA she was slow and could get me in. :) I have really short layers so I have to grow it out but here is what she did for me.

I really like it, no hair spray, no poof and something different. It's so nice to have a change.

We are coming home Friday after her visit with the surgeon. It will be so nice for her to be home and recovering in her own space. Mom has been strong and is doing well as expected. She hates taking pain meds but is following orders. The specialist told us the other day in the hospital that in all his years of working on shoulders that this was his 2nd worst shoulder injury he has done. Poor woman. Were all taking great care of her and just passing the days with being mellow and waiting for Friday. She's going to need a lot of help these next few weeks and I hope when we get home the other half of the family will help and do what needs to be done.

Better Day

I'm still here in LA with my step mom and sister in law and brother. My mom got out of the hospital at last and is on her way to being better. It is going to be a long road for her, but each day is getting better. Were being low key, just hanging out and visiting and resting. We can not leave until she see the surgeon on Friday for her check up. So we are flying home on Friday afternoon. I know she is so ready to be back at her own home in Oregon. She has now been away from home for going on 3 weeks. So well check in with the surgeon on Friday morning and were taking her home. Today here our temp. was 80+ degrees. So we took advantage of the sunshine and got out side for a bit. We went to Subway and got lunch and took it to a park so we could enjoy the sun and it's warmth. The sunshine I think made her feel a bit better.

I've had some down time just to talk to my sister in law. Barb is just coming up on her 2 year since WLS. http://barbswls.blogspot.com/ It's been nice talking and share our journey and learning even more from her. She has such strength and has been a very important person in my life. I have not seen her since my surgery and she was full of compliments about me and my journey and my weight loss. But I don't know if she knows how important she has been to me these past few months. When I'm down, sad, mad, or just need a kick in the butt she has set me straight with the truth. She has been a very important to me these past few months. It's just been great sharing and talking about the changes in our life's. She is about a year+ farther than me, so she has already gone through some of these changes and is open to share with me the good and the bad. THANKS BARB FOR LOVING ME. I needed you. You were the brave one, I just followed.

Until later...

Off to L.A.

I'm leaving for LA tomorrow afternoon to go help my brother and sister in law take care of mom after her fall and surgery of a shoulder replacement. Were all in aw that her fall caused that kind of damage to her body. The ball in her shoulder was totally shattered. The socket where the ball goes into the shoulder was cracked and the rotator cuff was tore too from my understanding. Needless to say she needs all of us to pull together and take care of her for a bit. I can't wait to see her and be by her side and help my family. I get to see my brother and sister in law while I'm there and that will be so nice to visit and see them while Carolyn is resting and healing.

On my weight loss... I'm down to 194.0. That is 100 pounds since Dec. of 2006! 191 pounds will be 100 pounds since surgery. My goal for myself is 169. Being 5'7 and never weighing anything but fat I thought that was a good goal for myself. I am 25 pounds from that goal and anything past that I will be thrilled. I'm still unsure some days if I will ever reach that goal, but I have to believe I will. I don't think this next 25 pounds will be easy. I know my body is going to make me work for these last few pounds. My weight loss has slowed down. I just have to keep picking good foods to fill me. I will try to blog while I'm gone, so check back on me...

Some People...

OK I'm a bit down today. Couple of things today were not fun. First I found out my step mom that I think of like my MOM fell on Tuesday after her trip to NY. She fell and landed right on her shoulder. She had to have a total shoulder replacement today. She is in CA and staying with her son and daughter in law. Bless there heart. I know it's got to be so hard on them too. I'm just really worried about her. She got out of surgery today and I can't wait to call her tomorrow after she gets around some and is more alert. :( I want her to know I love her and I'm there for her if she needs me.

2nd- I'm trying not to lets people's words get to me, but... sometimes that is hard. I had this customer today that I could not help so I told her to come back and see my boss so she could take care of the customer later this week when she is back. Anyway, I told her to come back and see Shawna Friday or Saturday. She said is "Shawna the girl with the glasses that is a bit heavier than you"? I just don't want to be the fat girl anymore! AWWW GRR I wonder if that will ever happen still sometimes. I just let this customer get to me with her words. Silly I know, but I'm so tired of this fat body of mine and being the fat girl.

I'm just waiting on my boy to get home so we can take my new cat-dog Rufus to the vet. He has been coughing the past 2 days so were taking him to the vet.

Gotta go... Better weekend I hope!

A Hwy. or Backroads???

Here is a video I shot. We were in CA. Didn't really get lost, but this hwy was on the map. We didn't know it was a 8 mile gravel road or how good the road was but we made it back to concrete. The back roads are our favorite kinds of roads anyway so it was cool to us!

Happy to say were home now. Picked up our furry friends last night and Jonathan is back to school and were back to work! I weighed this morning and I didn't gain any weight while we were gone. I lost one pound. YEAH

HAVE A GOOD MONDAY!

Crater Lake Oregon

We went to Crater Lake Oregon yesterday. It was so pretty. Crater Lake is a MT that once was a active volcano, and now the crater where it blew is a lake. Get it... Crater Lake. Good day. Here's some photos of us again. :)

Have to go home tomorrow, but we don't want to. I could vacation year around with no problems. Miss our doggies but were not ready to go home. Back to reality tomorrow...

California

Mt. Shasta, CA.

We left Reno Nevada yesterday morning and headed back to our condo in Oregon. We thought we would take the back roads and also go through the volcanic scenic byway of lava beds in California. So we cut through following the map making a few short cuts. We found one road that was on the map but it was 8 miles of gravel. We took some of the most prettiest drives yesterday on some very cool back roads. Never did get lost, but we were confused at times. We never got to finish the 50 miles of scenic byway because it was getting late so we headed back to the main hwy and headed home.