crazy head...

I've had a great week this week. I worked, went swimming 2x on my days off from work. My step mom and aunt came down to visit me for my belated birthday. They spent the day and night with us. Us girls went out for lunch and got to spend 5 hours or so just talking and visiting. We picked up Jonathan after school, got the food and the wine and headed to a ocean front room on the beach. It was a nice visit with good company. They spoiled me with lunch, presents, compliments and love. I got a new pair of pants from my aunt that I so very much need right now. A new very cool frying pan that I wanted from my step mom. My mom and aunt come over every year to visit me for my birthday. I am so happy they do that each year for me as I don't have a lot of family living anymore and I know they always think of me in that special way. :) I love them for that!

I lost 2.2 pounds this week. That puts me @ 200.4 (darn scale). This last 7+pounds is taking forever for me. Jeez. My body just won't let me in the 100's. CRAZY Guess I'm dieing to see 199 or less, so it feels like it's dddrrraaagggging. My brother warned me the other day when talking to him that he remembers things slowing down now that sometime has passed. And to "stay off that scale he tells me". Oh boy, another challenge. I have to learn to stay off that scale, but I'm not to good at listening to that voice. I'm back to stepping on that scale every morning. I think about it all the time. I want it so badly, maybe to much. I still wish the Dr. could of bypassed my head and the things we tell our self's. When you hit these plautus or slow weight loss times is when you find yourself wanting to give up in my past. So you still have those negative thoughts even after surgery. That's what I mean by wishing the Dr could of bypassed my head. Remove that negative bone.... :) LOL

I've decided after thinking on it that I would start telling some of my customers at work that I have just cut my eating down by 70% and I'm exercising. I will still be very willing to share with some, but this may allow me not to have to go into my story with EVERYONE I meet and chat with. Well see how that goes. I just run into a lot of people in my job because I work in customer service and they think they know me.

So that's my week... As you can read I still have to find and learn patients some days. I want to be able to look at a picture and feel good about what I'm seeing. I'm looking better but I'm still fat. I won't give up like in years past and I will keep moving to make this happen for ME!!!