One year later...

Today is my one year surgiversay and I have a few things to share about my year. These are just some of the things I’m thankful for:

*I don’t take pain meds anymore. I have not taken a pain med or anything in 13 months now. I remember in the beginning how hard it was to get through my days without Tylenol. I still carried the weight and the pain was still there but I just kept telling myself “this will get better with each pound I lose”. Not taking any medication into my body alone is worth everything to me. I knew I had to do something because If I felt this way at 40 how was I going to feel at age 50-60? I realize how tired I really was now after losing 125 pounds.

*I can stand up in the bathtub!! I don’t have to get on my knees and push myself up out of the tub, I can just stand. WOW

*My hip doesn’t hurt as bad or the same anymore. I will go talk to my doctor this year about my hip. I believe it's from years of limping and (from an old car wreck) has wore down my hip, so now it pops out of place all the time and I feel crooked and out of place lot of the time. My hubby is my chiropractor these days. The pain now compared to before is not even comparable to before. It just bothers me now from time to time and I don’t find myself in agonizing pain anymore.

*My limp is better. (i limp because my ankle was broken in a wreck. it does not move or flex like before the break many, many years ago.)
*I can walk with a bounce in my step and best of all I feel like walking.
*I can cross my legs
*I can get down on the floor and up without struggle anymore
*I feel better about myself
*I’ve got exercise (swimming) back in my life.
*I don't feel like my job kicks my ass anymore. I feel good running around my store and at the end of the day I don't have to drag myself home.
*I wear size 10/12 jeans
*I am thankful for Dr. Rutlegde (http://clos.net/) and making this MGB affordable. I could of never found the money for a RNY as it was too expensive and I could not afford it since we had to find the funds to pay. Our insurance would not touch surgery of any kind for me. The MGB is affordable to patients that don’t have insurance to pay for the surgery.

Like I said before "I realize how tired I really was when weighing 290 pounds now after losing 125 pounds". BIG DIFFERENCE

These are just some of the things that have changed for me in the past 12 months. I have lost 125 pounds now and have gone from 291 pounds to 166 pounds. I’ve gone from size 22/24 to size 10/12. I made a goal for myself to get to 169 pounds by my one year anniversary. I did make that goal this month and am very happy to weigh in the 160’s. Surprized too as I had trouble believing even this would work for me in the beginning. I was scared and worrying for nothing. This past year has been a good year for me. I’ve said before “it’s the little things that are so wonderful for me”. Little to some, but BIG steps and changes for me. It’s so nice eating healthy and feeling full after a meal. I eat like I am on a diet still and I know that is something I need to do for myself forever now, but this surgery has been a great tool for myself. I have many years to live in this body and taking care of it is forever. I can still have a cookie or sweets, there just in moderation now. One because I don’t crave them as much, and two because I know if I over indulge my body will let me know and react now to sweets and sugar. I’ve just found different foods that I love in smaller portions now. I did stop losing my hair about at 8 or 9 months. My hair loss was never a lot anyway. I would just get a few hairs wrapped around my fingers in the shower. I have been very true to taking my vitamins most days. I don’t feel deprived and feel very satisfied after a meal now. Some days I don’t feel hungry at all. I have found no foods I really can’t eat yet. I have not tried everything, but what I have it sits well with my tummy. I don’t do milk anymore, as it did make me sick 2 times so I just went to soy milk. I do not tolerate greasy foods anymore. I tried an elephant ear this past summer at a fair and the grease went right though me by the evening. Only once have I got sick from eating to much this past year, and I did that to myself. I knew I should have stopped eating that garden burger that day. I should have listened to my head & tummy and stopped eating when I felt full, but I didn’t and I did get sick soon after eating that day. Overall I can eat a healthy amount of food now that I’m 12 months post op. I can eat 2 eggs and a half of piece of toast. I do have to share those eggs with my doggie Rufus cause with the toast it’s too much, so we just share now. I eat a ½ of chicken sandwich if we go out to McDonalds. No fries, no pop, just chicken now, and of course I share that too with my dog. I don’t need the extra foods now to finish filling me, just the chicken and I’m good. My dog is getting fat now, but that’s better than my hubby and passing what I can’t eat to him. I’ve had to watch that, I don’t want to make him unhealthy by shoving my food onto his plate. I always throw the top part of the bread/bun away and just eat the protein. I can have some bread, but overall bread fills me to fast. So if I’m eating a sandwich or something I just toss ½ the bread away. If we go to Subway I order 6 inch turkey sandwich with just lettuce and tomato (no mayo) and throw the bottom of the sandwich/bread away. Subway has the best salads too. Love em! It’s just freeing not to think of food all the time now. I don’t know if you understand that, but food was in my thoughts a lot in my past and it’s not like that anymore.

I am so excited to be below 200 these days. It’s something I never thought would happen for myself. When I say, type or write down my weight I can’t ever say or put one hundred down, as I always type two hundred. Old habits die hard. When I calculate how much weight I’ve lost and I look at the number and I think and say “holly shit, is that right?” LOL I catch my reflection in the glass and sometimes think “who is that”?

The past year has been filled with so many emotions. My days have been mostly good, but there are days my head talks negative to me still. I know it’s from years of failing and feeling sorry for myself. I wish Dr. Rutledge could have bypassed my head too. Just a joke, but just because you lose weight does not make the real problems go away. I work on that everyday too. I’m learning to talking nice to myself, rather than negative talk. Some days are easier than others. I have a husband I truly adore, a pretty good teenage boy that is a sweet young man and a small family and a great best friend. Every one of my family and friends have been great and given me lots of support. I feel lucky to have them talking me through my ups and downs this past year and giving me lots of support and believing in me. I have made some new friends here at Blogger that I look forward to sharing my days with. I look forward to there next post and sharing there days, thoughts and struggles and successes. That means a lot to me. So you know who you are and thank you for loving me and being my friend old or new. You have made a diffrence in my days and I love the support.

This next year is about shaping my body, keep exercising and staying healthy. I have 8.6 more pounds to go until I get to my goal of 158. AMAZING. At 158 and my height at 5'7 -Susy will be normal for maybe the first time in my life. That's something I want bad, so I'm working to get to that goal. Barb told me “it was a wild ride” and indeed she was correct! When I took those pictures the other day of me in my old pants I was “high on life” all day long. I got 2 legs in one of my pant legs that I wore one year ago. It was a wonderful feeling.

CHEERS and Happy Day!