Wow... has life changed over the last 4 years. It's been awhile since I last blogged. This past year around our house has been rough one. But no one ever said life was easy. Just thought I'd do a update and share where I'm at in my journey and my life. Things have mellowed out some and life is looking a bit brighter around the Lee house.
I once reached 348 pounds. I spent my life feeling the many pains of being obese. I've never known anything other than being the fat girl. I think for this reason I feel like I will be letting myself down if I regain and get heavy after WLS. I got what I prayed for and paid for. It's up to me now. I will never or could never forget how it feels to be obese. It controlled my life in many, many ways.
Surgery weight in Feb. 2007~294. My lowest weight I ever saw after surgery was 145 for a sec. or two. Today I weigh 152.0! I am maintaining and have for almost 3 years. I stay between 150-155 and it's pretty easy with the foods I'm choosing to eat. One thing that I hear in my mind daily is "I ate what I wanted to for years and look where that got me". So now I eat what I have to so I can maintain what has been given to me. I don't eat what I want... I now eat what I have too. No big deal. I have found many things that are healthy that I love. So what if I have to pick the garden burger or eat salad rather than the cheeseburger. I don't feel deprived this time around, I just feel great. Yes, I splurge from time to time but just time to time. I have learned for me I have to say the words "no thanks" alot more these days if I want to maintain. There is no doubt in my mind I could regain 20+ pounds if I ate ice cream, bread and fatty foods. So for that reason I pay attention to the scale and the foods I eat daily. One might call it obsessive but I don't see it that way. How does a girl get to be 350 pounds? She looks away (far away) for many years. She lies to her self and eats out of pain and just get heavier and heavier with time. So now rather than look away and lie to myself, I stare straight forward and am honest with myself these days. I've grown and learned. :) I don't want to be that girl anymore. For the most part I count calories, eat lots of egg whites, lettuce, cottage cheese, chicken, lean ground beef, yogurt, whey protein and pretty much stay away from breads and sugar. I eat most of my sandwiches open faced and tear off the bread and fill my stomach with something else. I have found that when I eat sugar, I crave sugar. So if I don't eat it I don't crave it as badly. I spend what seems like a fortune on protein bars, whey protein and vitamins these days, but on the other hand I don't spend money at McDonald's, Burger King or other fast food. Since I still do crave stuff from time to time I always keep my "safe" foods here on hand. There are candy bars in the house as I have a 17 year old but I keep them out of sight and that helps me. But if they are out on the counter I still think about them and want them. Candy makes your butt big... so I keep apples, protein bars, yogurt and yogurt pretzels, soy milk, and other yummy stuff here. I don't know... I just get it. It clicked this time... I got what I paid for and there is no friggin' way I'm going back or being that same girl again. If I find myself in my old habits I am honest with myself and think really hard what it was like in my past & how it felt to be obese, and it stops me every time. I got my chance and no one is going to take it from me, not even myself. If I go up a pound or three I get right back on salads and protein. There would be one sad Susy if I blew this and gained back weight. It's up to me now... not the surgery. The past few years my stomach does not of seemed to expanded or stretched. When I think of what I could consume 2 years ago, it's about the same amount today. So I am thankful for getting the MGB rather than the RNY. The side of the stomach my Dr. staples is the side of the stomach that does not stretch and expand the same as the other side of the stomach. Really everything is fine and good. I still crash from time to time. I really have to watch how much sugar and carbs I put into my body or I'll get the shakes and sometimes get sick. Never can I have sugar in the mornings. It's after I've ate a few meals and at night I can get away with ice cream or things like that with tons of sugar.
I'm just out living life... watching my boy grow into a man, loving my hubby & trying to pay the bills along the way.
So time for a picture update for you all. And check out how big my boy is getting. Time fly's when your having fun! Added one of me and my honey too.
Peace out and I hope your life is treating you good. I'll keep this blog open probably forever and update it every so often. I do update my weight totals here a few times a month, and below is a list of my weight every month since I had WLS.
=) Take care of you and be happy!
