Today is the day I take and post photos and such. Same day each year with a update and a look back. I recognize
this girl less and less as time passes. Today is my 2nd birthday because today is 3 years since my life changed and I had weight loss surgery. I'd do it again and it's been a great ride. First year was a piece of cake, year two and three I work at it to stay in the 150's. But do you know anyone who maintains there weight and is skinny with or without surgery looks at what they are putting into there mouth each meal. They work at it, they move there ass and take pride in what they want. And that is what I have to do. It takes work even now, it is not easy but I want it that bad. I really believe "
nothing tastes as good as thin feels". I remind myself of that often. Food is about the moment when your sad, when your happy, when your celebrating, it's everywhere~ and it has been work, but good. There is no doubt I could put on more weight. I'm eating more regular sized meals now and my body is more tolerable to foods. If I eat the crap or eat too much
I gain. I ate what I wanted to for 40 years and look where that got me~
fat! So I'm ok with making good choices for the rest of my life now. But ya, I'm battling a small gain now. Not much of one but I'm looking at what I'm eating and such as right now it's 3-4 pounds and I don't want that to turn into 10-15 pounds. I promised myself I would never
look away again. I didn't weigh all those years when I was heading to 350. I guess I ignored so I'm trying to learn from past mistakes and understand and be honest. The drier is not shrinking my pants when they get tight~"
your gaining". No more lies, no more sneeking, no more letting yourself down. The reason for my small gain this month is I had a back injury for the past 8 weeks and spent a good part of Jan. asleep and down with
a lot of pain. It was life crippling and hurt very much. I got through without meds and that was hard being a bypass patient those days, but I did it and feeling better and back to walking and moving. To me it would be depressing to gain weight that I knew I did cause I am eating shit I don't need and not eating in moderation. I don't want to be depressed and I know if I let myself down I would be sad, very sad. I don't expect perfection but I expect to be honest with myself which makes me feel in control and good about myself. Moderation is the key and I remind myself of that all the time. Sure I want the whole egg, the mayo, the hamburger but not if it's going to make me gain and become sad again. I can have those things once in awhile, just not daily. So I eat like I'm on a diet for the most part, eat pretty healthy, skip the sweets and most of all keep them out of my sight. I've learned just because they staple your stomach and bypass you intestines you head stays the same. You have things to deal with, habits to concor and negative thoughts to learn to push out of your head. Your still addicted to food and have to learn new ways. And that I think I have succeeded in that and I work on each and everyday. Making me a better & a happier person. I did not pay $money and have my stomach stapled to go back to my old habits and let myself down. That would be depressing.
Am I doing the best I can do? Am I enjoying life? Am I being authentic to myself? Am I really hungry? I have grown a lot over the past 3 years. Still the same on the inside but the outside has changed but some of the inside changed too. I've learned to like myself, I don't cry anymore, I'm proud of me and that feels freeing as much as losing the weight did. One of the best parts is it's not me stopping us from moving/hiking and doing cause she too fat and can't do that. It was so sad in my past life to stand aside and watch and not do things because of my weight. It has never been any different for me and I smile much more now. This year for vacation we went to Lake Tahoe NV. We hiked, we walked, we shopped and believe me there were things we did on that vacation that we would of never done because mom couldn't. I would of never made it to 10,000 feet hiking and I would of missed those chipmunks at the bottom of that one mile hike down to the Vikingsholm castle because I could not of done it. A life of standing aside compared to today I can not even put into words. ☮FREEING♥! I am thankful for the "
little" things I got in my life with losing 150 pounds. So I try to stay focused on that and I'm happy and living
my little life. So keep watching cause I'm going to show you I can do this, I'm doing this and life is good!
Feb. 21st 2007~ 294
Feb. 21st 2008~ 169
Feb. 21st 2009~ 150
Feb. 21st 2010~ 154
I've maintained in the 150 range for 2 years now. :) Happy, happy, joy, joy!Take care of you!
Below are some photos taken the other day of me. :) I'm lovin' it!
3 years post~op!
